Today is the day that I woke up as my 80-year-old self. Grumpy, inconsolable, maybe something closer to a two year old if it weren’t for all the Diet Mountain Dew drinking. Nothing is quite right. My mother called at 8:20 on one of the two days of the week that I would ever be [...]
Category Archives: stuff that's wrong with me
Nudeling
01.17.11 –
We need to have a serious conversation. Sit down, scoot your chair in and let’s discuss a pressing social issue: nude pantyhose.
I am 37 years old. In the winter months, I occasionally like to wear outfits that involve cream, brown, beige, ivory – many shades from the color palette that are not black. I also [...]
Cross penned
03.15.10 –
I don’t often get angry, as in really furious. I just don’t. I get sassy, frustrated, peeved, irritated. In those moments, I prattle on, some might say incessantly, touching on each bothersome detail until I’ve vented sufficiently. I cover that spectrum with some regularity. I can name two times in the past six months at [...]