Category Archives: stuff that's wrong with everbody else

to the asshat who broke into my car last night

Now how did you know I was a quart low on drama?
Thanks. I so needed that.

If any of you are called to testify against me, please empty your cache immediately

It never ceases to amaze me just how dumb the average American murderer is. Now don’t get all stars and stripes on me; I am convinced that statistical analyses would prove the United States criminal to be exponentially less savvy than those in most other countries. There must be a Polish joke I’m missing [...]

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So I’m happy to report that the creme brulee topping that encased the bulb of my nose completely chipped off last night. I almost saved the flaky goodness for show and tell with my coworkers. I thought better of it. Maybe next time.
Apparently sunburns don’t happen all that often in the mid-Atlantic. At least 25 [...]

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