I’m in Boston. Safe and not at all sound. I haven’t seen much of the city, but am decidedly amused by the local fascination with a firefighter on disability who got caught flexing his beef in a bodybuilding competition. I’ve seen the footage – I’m pretty sure it’s on a 24-hour loop – and let [...]
Category Archives: stuff that's wrong with everbody else
All TV tragedies are born on a Tuesday
07.16.08 –
The Bachelorette must be over, because last night I ended up watching Family Feud. I rationalize that this is acceptable because such shows are demonstrated to stave off early-onset dementia. I’m not kidding. About believing that.
The night’s first half-hour pitted two families against each other in traditional style: one family completely sucks while the patriarch [...]
Dear Chicago Word Pilferer,
07.03.08 –
I do hope this post finds you well. And still single.
I must say that it was unexpected, shocking, and fully infuriating to hear from a reader last week that my words were being used elsewhere. I shouldn’t be too strong; I remember writing as a child and thinking it must be somehow satisfying for authors [...]
Herding Cats
05.06.08 –
I emailed my mother to see if she needed any help before the weekend. There is still post-death cleanup going on in the land of the Likeys, you see, forms and a plethora of “This page intentionally left blank”s that seem neverending. I don’t recommend the death of a loved one for many reasons, but [...]
not lying down
08.17.07 –
I try not to lie too much, but admittedly I fail miserably. I’ve fessed this up before to you, along with my fondness for Easy Cheese and Tony Danza vehicles, but the subject has come up in my life again more recently. I’m reminded. In my skewed tiny head – I’m not [...]
to the asshat who broke into my car last night
08.16.07 –
Now how did you know I was a quart low on drama?
Thanks. I so needed that.
If any of you are called to testify against me, please empty your cache immediately
05.15.07 –
It never ceases to amaze me just how dumb the average American murderer is. Now don’t get all stars and stripes on me; I am convinced that statistical analyses would prove the United States criminal to be exponentially less savvy than those in most other countries. There must be a Polish joke I’m missing [...]
SPF 0
05.04.07 –
So I’m happy to report that the creme brulee topping that encased the bulb of my nose completely chipped off last night. I almost saved the flaky goodness for show and tell with my coworkers. I thought better of it. Maybe next time.
Apparently sunburns don’t happen all that often in the mid-Atlantic. At least 25 [...]
