I once knew a woman who zipped through labor with her second child. Out of nowhere, the pain was immense. “Bring me drugs,” she begged her husband. He shook his head no. She punched him in the face. “Bring me drugs!” she demanded. The nurse shook her head no. My friend had missed the window [...]
Category Archives: relationships or the lack thereof
This
07.02.08 –
Few things ache more than this, than him choosing a different path. Few things hurt more than catching his movements out of the corner of your eye, watching him pause, and knowing he’ll make another choice. That he’ll find an easier conversation, a more suitable old friend or the bartender, something other than you. And [...]
Can’t you read the signs?
07.01.08 –
Dating is amazing. And not in the way that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are amazing, what with the simplicity of their sheer sugary splendor. Dating is more amazing in a Ted Bundy sort of way, as in inspiring shock and horror and at times a desire to turn your head and vomit. More like that.
I [...]
Preachy keen
06.26.08 –
I know a girl going through a breakup. It’s a break, really, but regardless of the official terminology, it clearly hurts like a breakup. Thoughts of never being with that person again are incredibly painful, like someone setting your hair on fire. Or an iron rod being rammed through your skull. Or Keebler elves shaving [...]
the sad, sad state of affairs
05.21.08 –
I made the mistake of watching the Bachelorette on Tivo last night. If this is all that’s left in the dating pool – men who special order briefs with your name scrawled on the ass, boys who get so tanked that they rip off their shirts to expose chests that should not see the dim [...]
Likeableus Boyfriendus
05.04.08 –
Every so often a friend picks a good one. He’s not a player. He doesn’t talk about his job ad nauseum with a puffed chest. He doesn’t hit on her friends when she’s in the bathroom. Every once in a while you like a friend’s new beau and want to pull her aside and tell [...]
The story of the most recent date, told in most circuitous fashion with multiple dessert references.
09.14.07 –
I really like chocolate chip mint ice cream. I’ve tried a lot of different flavors in my life, and you know what? It just does it for me. Coffee, vanilla, strawberry – even chocolate brownie chunk, the namesake of my thighs – they’re all good, but I prefer chocolate chip mint to most any variety. [...]
nostrakimus
09.13.07 –
Last night was the first time I saw the new man since the - *cough* - incident. Kim showered me with tough love advice before the date.
Kim’s thoughts as to how the night should go:
Ah, well, what *I* would do is keep it light at the beginning. Not light and fluffy, just light. Small talkish, [...]
