Christmas was spent in West Virginia, a state that’s actually quite lovely, a state with fewer gun shops and cars in front yards than I remember. We stayed at a spa, a destination equal parts Dirty Dancing and the Shining. Cottages dot the perimeter of the greater campus, which looks like a tiny college, if [...]
Category Archives: parentals
Snapshot
02.27.07 –
Do you still have all your photo albums? I do. I’m a virtual photography freak, although most of my photos were taken with plastic sale-priced cameras that leave many a photographer friend without words.
Photographs catalog my existence. They chronicle a life spent for a good time in braces, in younger years on my legs and [...]
Revelations
02.23.07 –
Mom wears pantyhose to the Safeway. This may not mean a lot to you, as many mothers may don expensive socks that invariably rip while they maneuver 30-pound jagged-edged metal vehicles around a grocery store, but it’s telling. I have never seen my mother in jeans, not once - not ever - in [...]
Photo Opportunities
01.30.07 –
With Dad’s health completely inconsistent and the Spin Doctors being played on DC’s classic rock station, I’ve been thinking a lot about just how old I am. Yesterday, my mother actually asked me whether I wanted to be cremated or buried after death. I don’t think she anticipated the twenty-minute reply I gave her, detailing [...]
Mom: 1; Kris: 1
11.29.06 –
I’m nearing the end of The Year That Was Discovering All Things About Yourself and Every Other Damn Person Ever in the Whole of Existence (TAFKAP), and I couldn’t be more relieved. I am really tired of this process [insert fooling self into thinking journey ends with calendar year here].
Latest development? The Mom.
For those of [...]
Family Ties
10.30.06 –
Polls are fun. Especially when you design one in a pale shade of grey and it comes up all Helly Kitty and stuff when you publish it. I’m not closing the post down yet, in the interest of rocking the vote, Election Day and a hope that Bill Clinton might reprise his swinging [...]
Mama’s Family
09.20.06 –
Someone at work asked me where I was from the other day.
“Jersey, beeeeooooootch!” I replied while slapping my own ass in full view of the Xerox and the paper slicer.
In my dreams.
“I’m from New Jersey.” I curtsied and then spit into my dip cup.
“Oh,” she said. I didn’t ask why. She offered. “I’ve just never [...]
I’m in a foul mood to begin with, one that cannot be rescued by any amount of sunshine and holiday weekend barbeque sauce.
05.27.06 –
So if you want happy, go here, or for those of you who need something stronger/toxic, try this.
“We should go out today,” my mother said. “Your father doesn’t really want to leave the house anymore, and that worries me.”
I’m not so sure I would want to go out if I was always [...]
