February 13, 2012

My mother has her second surgery and I finally realize where I get my tendency toward unrestrained sociability while under the influence.

February 14, 2012

Mom and I spend Valentine’s Day watching amazing Lifetime chick flicks. In related news, in two short days I will explain to work twenty-somethings both a) the role of Andrew McCarthy in my formative years and b) just who the hell Andrew McCarthy is.

February 15, 2012

Drink after work at the Ritz surrounds me with the exact types of guys I must never date. I think I belong more at Cap Grille or quite possibly Chili’s. I’d rather a man who talked with burger in his mouth than one trying to talk his way into my pants.

February 16, 2012

Friend comments on my purple shoe choice and I wear them on Date #3 to spite her. Night with the Brit holds wine and difficult work day chatter. When neither of us can remember the word for groundhog he labels it a “land otter.” I file this in the folder under Awesome.

February 17, 2012

I send friends the link to the Jezebel post “Dogs that Look Like Dicks” and am comforted yet again that I mother no humans.

February 18, 2012

Show up to water aerobics at 7:50 am only to be told pool is closed in honor of . . . Black History Month. Wait, what? Universe makes it up to me with parking space outside the Passenger, where I pretend I’m as adorable as my friends M and M. Fail miserably but have great gimlets and giggles while trying.

Found out today that weblife-long friend t2ed has died. The news takes my breath. Tim was one of my first internet friends and one of the only true gentlemen residing here on the web. He was a man who didn’t fear my love for bad pop and who made me mix CDs with copious and wonderful liner notes, who talked so often of his wife and the two curly pooches they were raising as their kids, who left supportive and downright hilarious comments here  nearly every post from my first year on. In our friendship, there were four types of moments Tim never let slip by: 1) the opportunity to mock my love for my kittehs, 2) the frequent opening to throw well-crafted DC sports snark my way, 3) the introduction of a gorgeous, ripe pun (solely for my enjoyment) and finally) a continuous and unwavering reminder that I should never settle for anything but the right people, places and things in my life. Towheaded Tim loved so much about his life and I cannot really believe that we won’t share more of it across these tubes. I learned so much from you, sweets, and wish we’d just have a couple days for chatting over beer I’d pretend to like and something fabulous you’d made on the grill. I will miss you, dear Timmay.

February 19, 2012

Crashed church at Cashion’s this Sunday eve courtesy of tomorrow’s holiday. Am quite sure I haven’t been to Adams Morgan since 1983. So glad I ventured into the wilds of NW to raise a glass with these girls.

February 20, 2012

I watch the Downtown Abbey season two finale and am consumed 1) by how awful Mary and Matthew’s breath must smell in the engagement scene given their inadequate dental hygiene and 2) with just what I’ll obsess over next now that Downton is done. I download the Hunger Games.

February 21, 2012

I finish the Hunger Games and declare to the cats that it is one of the finest books I’ve read in some time. Cricket barely raises her head; Bug licks himself in what can be interpreted as a sign of agreement.

February 22, 2012

Spend a sick day on the couch. I finish the second of the Hunger Games books. Realize not all that swiftly that I may never again buy a book not housed in the Young Adult section. Will seek intervention before venturing into “Paranormal Teen Romance.”

February 23, 2012

I download the third and final Hunger Games book and wonder if I need to tell my therapist about this new fixation. Instead she and I talk about my need to punish those who don’t get things right the first time – or any time. I take this to heart and make mental note to be mindful about this tendency. Will of course also punish self with negative thoughts and bad shoe choices, per usual.

February 24, 2012

Have best Welsh rarebit ever at Boxcar Tavern. Recall sadly that I always assumed it was rabbit. Plan date number 4 with the Brit. Are these dates after all?

February 25, 2012

Wake up in rare great and feisty mood. Proceed to consume 48 Weight Watchers points on wine tour in Virginia countryside courtesy of port wine cheese and milanos. As expected, love the petit mansengs and the beautiful, bright women I’m with.

February 26, 2012

Wake up to the reminder that my period did not get the memo about me hating it and spend a quiet day at home doing laundry, work and all things I have put off since Christmas. Begin prepping for tonight’s Oscars by fishing pretzel bits out of my bra and brushing my teeth. It’s simply an honor to be nominated, people.