I went to a memorial service today. It was magnificent. Top shelf liquor, a room full of colleagues and friends, a vibrant program printed in reds and greens. I don’t recall the last time I went to something like this, but I think we should do them more often. As is a popular opinion, I think we should hold them when we’re living, perhaps three-quarters of the way through the expected life span, so that the honoree can hear all the beautiful things their loved ones say about them. I also think we should be required to go to them, maybe twice a year, even if we don’t lose someone close to us. They’re a nice kick in the pants, a reminder that there is much to do and people who are out there doing it. I don’t know if my headache is from the crying or the two Diet Cokes I had one after the other, but I need to write my take aways in a list tonight. Maybe to revisit.

1. People who live awesome lives and have awesome memorial services take the time to keep in touch with friends and family.

I’m awful at this. So, so awful, a situation not made better by the advent of electronic communication. I haven’t talked on the phone since 1953 and I don’t plan to change that, so I’ve got to think of a better way to do this. Friends are so important to me, and I know that I don’t make them feel as if they are. The people of awesome lives and memorial services take the time for drinks after work or the conversation after the lecture ends. They don’t beeline for the car in dark sunglasses. This one will be hard.

2. People who seize life get off their asses.

It takes a good long time to make a true impact in this world, so you’d best get to it.

3. People with lives well documented let people take pictures of them.

This one is easier for me, but difficult for so many people in my life. These are the people who only have pictures of their kids in their Facebook albums. Hell, they’re the people that refuse to have Facebook profiles to begin with. It’s true that none of us wants to see ourselves in an unflattering light, but this is so much bigger than any of us. Pictures are important. They’re a part of your legacy. No one will care after you’re gone if you had five chins.

4. Those with a zest for life remember to live it in the details.

Take note of an interaction at the DMV, the blazing red of the maple on the northeast corner of the park, the thing you said to your boss that you probably shouldn’t have. Laugh about the details with friends, document them. Live them. If nothing else, they make for great stories when you’re dead.

5. Those who are well loved make people feel like they’re important in the moment.

Several different people commented on how this woman always asked questions about them. About how she didn’t brag, didn’t try to steal the stage. In conversations, she was present, curious, inquisitive. I need to work on the present part.

6. Those who know passion and persistence drink one hell of a life cocktail.

Wealth, luck, talent and genius may not even make it into the glass.

7. Those who grab life by the ears also take time to help others along the way.

We don’t have to — and won’t — be Mother Theresa, but people remember the darndest things that you do for them. You may not view it as a big gesture, but they might. Be snarky, be sassy, be irreverent, but be kind.

8. The happy live life as themselves.

You sure look good in those pictures when you’re taking trips you want to take, wearing that color you love and not the one your mother thinks suits you, when you’re doing the things that make you happy. Not the things that best pass time or the ones you should be doing. The things that make you happy.

9. The wondrous live lives enriched by animals or children.

Or both, if you’re really a sucker.

10. The lovely ones teach.

Formally or informally, there’s stuff you know that can help other people to live better lives, and if you’re really lucky, those people will help other people in turn. And it will spread just as it did in that awful Pay It Forward movie, only yours will be infinitely cooler in that it really happened, and that there was a jolt to the universe during the moments you were a part of it.

We should all be so lucky.