We need to have a serious conversation. Sit down, scoot your chair in and let’s discuss a pressing social issue: nude pantyhose.
I am 37 years old. In the winter months, I occasionally like to wear outfits that involve cream, brown, beige, ivory – many shades from the color palette that are not black. I also like to wear skirts. My calves are a part of my body that I don’t abhor, and therefore allow them to be seen in public. I also live in DC. Most of the locals love that Mother Nature grants us all four seasons, but right now, it’s cold. Last week, I left for work most days with temperatures hanging in the 20s. I am therefore unable, you see, to go bare legged into my current world.
This leaves me with few options.
1. Wear tights. While tights are hella lovely with some work outfits, and do keep my legs warm, they really aren’t appropriate with all things suiting. They serve their purpose with many an office dress but on most occasions leave me feeling like an 8-year-old girl on the way to a ballet recital. They also work best with black.
2. Wear all black. I did this for years, unintentionally looking the city mouse (rat?) I fancied myself to be. I can’t do it anymore. Besides, my mom SWEARS I’m a Summer.
3. Wear nude hose. I have a thing – a Thing, you see – about wearing nude hosiery. See also Suntan. I grew up with friends who let me know early on that nude hose were worn only by those that shopped at lesser stores, by women who misunderstood fashion, if they even tried. I fear the nude hose, look down my nose at them. I have tried them, pushed to the brink by #2 above, and they were a disaster. My legs looked like I’d been playing in the dirt. As well we know, when enough years pass one will do anything stupid a second and third time, and last week I bought some pale hose, not nude, but pale, pale brown. I excitedly ripped them from the package and was expectedly crushed. There were awful, just as I’d remembered, and the dark seams made me look as if I had toes dipped in milk chocolate. Consumer FAIL.
4. Order hose online that are ultra, ultra, ultra sheer, giving you the look of well-lotioned bare legs, making you the certain envy of every woman in your office, the object of every store clerk’s desire. I tried this as well, studying closely the color patches each store posted online. I ripped them from their mailing pouches and gleefully opened the packages complete with images of curvy, tanned women who were most certainly on their way to an important client meeting at which they would be the lead presenter lady, or emcee at an exclusive event that would raise record funds for children forced to eat sugar free breakfast cereals. They were Suntan. Retail FAIL.
Help me solve this firstest of first world problems, people. Just how does a women wear brown in winter?
[Tomorrow’s Post: My Rice Isn’t White Enough.]
20 Comments
It’s odd how hard it is not to wear black in winter. I recently got brown tights. Not sweatery or texturey – more like opaque brown hose. I’ve only worn them once (because I spend my life in pants or black) but with that one data point, I love them.
I wear nude fishnets because they are cute and also because I’m sort of a whore.
I’ve always had a fondness for Linen pantyhose–they’re not brown at all, more faintly taupe, which looks more like the color one’s legs would naturally be in winter…I know I’m making this sound really bad, but it works.
I go bare-legged. Despite the cold.
I haven’t worn pantyhose in ages, but I never cared for the look of them, so I would buy the sheerest ones I could find, ones that looked as if I weren’t wearing any. I think they were taupe.
Hmmm, what about brown tights with a pattern so they’re not as opaque, but won’t have the dreaded suntan look. I’m trying to find a link…
http://www.shopstyle.com/browse?fts=patterned+tights
I am no help to you as I am sitting here in a dress with bare legs, cold.
I very very seldom wear hose. Mostly because I’m clumsy and tear it within minutes of putting it on. Not to mention the “suntan” effect, which to me reminds me of dance recitals. So I wear mostly black in the winter and don tights. But what about going to Macy’s or Lord and Taylor where they have an actual section of stockings where you can look and stick your hand in there for some kind of color comparison??
The last time I wore hose out in public, the local Republican farmers nearly ran me out of town with their herds of attack sows.
I’m afraid I’m not much help. :/
It’s been ages since I had any brown in my wardrobe, but I used to buy darker shades of pantyhose, like “coffee” and “jet brown” which are the sheer hose equivalents for brown-skinned legs. I know they aren’t usually marketed to women with blonde hair but they worked really well with the brown suede skirt and the brown-toned plaid skirt I used to have. It’s a dressier look than tights because they are slightly sheer. You can buy a trial pair at CVS for not much money.
This is a good question. I’d go for sheer taupe panty hose or stick with tights. The fishnet ones sound cool. As long as you’re not wearing open toes shoes that shows the seam.
simple. move back to florida. please.
There’s a Hanes color called “travel buff” which is absolutely NOT like suntan. Try that.
pants.
I wear sweatpants or gym pants under my skirt on my way into work and remove them once I am there. Much warmer than tights for outside, and luckily my building is warm enough that i’m fine for the work day.
i have a few different pairs of brown tights that i rock in the winter months with the earthy toned outfits. also, i read in i think glamour or allure or something, that nude hose with a visible seam are acceptable. i just don’t know where you get them. similar to fishnets, but not. a seam up the back. sounds sexy, and makes me nervous at the same time.
Ugh. Pantyhose. Make sure they are microfiber. They feel better, are warmer, and hold up better. If you can buy them in the store you can check the shade, but otherwise, order two shades lighter than what you think you will need.
I second the color called Travel Buff. When I was wearing suits and dresses all the time I wore those constantly. I am fair skinned, like Cliffs of Dover fair, and they looked great on me, if I do say so myself. Of course, now I have a job where I drive carpool in my pajamas. I had to buy black hose for a funeral recently and it was an odd, odd feeling.
I can’t wear pantyhose anymore. I wear tights for sheer comfort, and really, when it gets like this, no dresses at all. I’m in the perhaps unfortunate position of being able to wear jeans to work, and I have no shame about doing so…none at all.
yeah wow this seems to be a dilemma that most will not speak about. It is like the best kept over 30 secret. You can’t be naked legged because dude, lets face it, that’s a 20 something thing right? And Tights are wonderful and functional but not professional. I have to say my solution to this is pants. Course I live in the great north so pants are not something that you need to ponder very long in the winter. Its like hmmmm I feel like dressing up… no wait… its what? -10? Pants.
If you find a solution please let us know.