Bobby Flay is making pizza on the Food Network and I’d like to make sweet mouth love to it. It’s a Chicago-style pizza, not my fave, as it’s a well-known fact that only the sluttiest tomato sauce leaves the house without a dressing of cheese. But it’s still pizza, and pizza is nature’s finest food. It’s the combination of sauce, cheese, and bread that does it for me, one I’ve recreated in simpler form on many a drunk night. High fiber bread. Slices of fat free American. An open jar of Prego. Instant satisfaction. It is taking everything in my power for me not to order something in, something that follows this formula, given the extra strong cravings I’ve been having since I found out I was pregnant. It’s also 100 degrees outside, and 82 in the apartment, and this leaves me with little desire to use the bathroom properly, let alone turn on the stove. Both cats are on their backs on the hardwood and I’m spilling out of a sports bra and shorts, and I’ve a wedding to attend in Hawaii in less than two months. No, I will not be eating pizza. And no, I’m not really pregnant.
Truth? I haven’t had meat in 93 days and it’s driving me batty. I made the mistake of watching Food Inc. in an Albany hotel room and I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t recommend the film for those of you who thriving on merry Manwiches. Because trust me on this one, friends: the lambs are, indeed, screaming. The transition hasn’t been as difficult as some make it out to be; the world is full of plenty of awful fruits and vegetables without mothers or faces. There are green beans and green apples, not to mention the green mushrooms which have been sweating in my fridge for over a month. I’m living on pasta and Ohio’s allotment of pizza and lots of things labeled organic, a quest that has resulted in countless hours of Internet research yet little decline in my size. But I miss meat. I miss it so much that I’ve dreamt twice of hamburgers, of well-done beef slathered in multiple cheeses atop a sesame seed bun. The current challenge is not only to find a farm where cows and pigs graze without restraint, but one at which they’re voted Prom King just before dying in their pens. Pens lined with silk sheets and a Gideons Bible. I’m still looking.
I hope to keep this up, just as I do many of the other things I’ve taken on since I last saw you here. Training for a 5K. Allowing myself to open my heart again. I plan to document it all, even in retrospect, because as I’ve found out over the past few months, not writing makes Kris a very, very dull girl.
28 Comments
A couple of points:
First of all, I thought the pregnancy was our secret. Oh wait, it is. Next point.
I think you’re looking for something more along the lines of a caftan. I can’t imagine a universe in which a sports bra would keep a girl sufficiently cool.
Third, I’m game anytime you’d like to take a field trip to that Buddho-Kosher slaughterhouse in Gaithersburg. Any. Time.
Finally? You’re not the least bit dull; thank you for sharing your lovely self with the weblings once more, dear Wino.
Come to Vancouver and I will cook you delicious, delicious vegetarian foods. Yes, I am a broken record, why do you ask? Also, Vancouver.
Never watched the movie thank god. Think I will continue to blissfully watch Food Network.
I want to see Food Inc. OR DO I? I haven’t been a vegetarian since I was in my 20s.
As a 20 year vegetarian, it gets easier. I never think about meat.
I’ve missed you Online and in person. Sorry to hear your not going to blogher.
Yea, you’re back! Have you read Omnivore’s Dilemma or In Defense of Food, both by Michael Pollan? Excellent books that change the way you think about food.
You stinkin’ whore. I believed that pregnancy thing so much I read the sentence twice before I thought maybe it was a lie and continued on. Evil, I say. Pure evil!
Now, having done the dietary vegan thing for a month (once, on a dare) I can tell you that the closest I came to satisfying carnivore itch was Quorn (name brand) Naked Cutlets (they’re even form-pressed to look like chicken breast cutlets) brushed with some Annie’s Green Goddess dressing, bake for 20 minutes or so, and wa-la! I still eat them. Seriously. That’s some good stuff, and the texture isn’t far off of a tenderized chicken breast. And the taste? Well, if I still eat it? It’s got to be good. The end.
I fell for the preggers line. I tried going vegetarian a few times, while I love my fruits, whole grains, and veggies, sadly, I love my meat too. I practice restraint and limit myself (usually) to once a week consumption.
Good luck, go find a kiddie pool.
I’m thrilled you’ve kept up the veggie-ism. I’m planning on putting aside a week where I give up meat (and alcohol and caffeine…which now that I write it out, I think that’ll make me a Mormon), and I’m not sure I’ll actually be able to make it through seven days. I’m inspired by your 93. And I think you’re doing it for exactly the right reasons. Food Inc didn’t change my meat-eating ways, but it still includes all of the best reasons to give up meat.
And I hear you (metaphorically speaking) on the not writing part. I’ve found my word power has been drastically dulled by irregular writing. Well, the fact that all my writing are boring work emails probably hasn’t helped.
Good to have you writing again…
Oh you totally got me.
And, have you tried tempeh? I was a vegetarian for 16 foolish years before I discovered it – I beseech you not to make the same mistake.
She breathes! She lives! She writes! Thank god.
We have missed your missives, your Sauciness. Welcome back.
I have yet to see Food Inc. but I think I’d so so gladly and openly. We here in the Heartland have very little ignorance about where and how our food is processed, I guess. From being raised on a farm for half my life to seeing how large operations have to be run to work, make profit, etc — you just know that as food scales up, it gets nastier. There’s not too many ways around it, to be honest.
That doesn’t stop me yet, though. In regards to anything outside my own home, I just grin and bear it and try not to imagine the source, being content with my disillusionment because it’s packaged nicely enough at Micky-D’s for me to think that all beef was born pre-formed.
BUT — at home? Dear Wino, the various bits of cow and hog that currently sit nestled in my freezer at sub-zero temperatures — I knew them. Personally. Raised on my father’s very small acreage, fed only the good stuff (my father is known for regularly making his pigs pancakes with syrup and feeding it to them — he feels it makes them sweeter, I guess — no, he doesn’t give them bacon, that’s just pushing it), and gently killed (insomuch as you can) individually in a small butcher shop nearby before being diced into the neatest of parts. It is probably one of the cleanest, calmest, nearest to nature food sources in the world available. The animals are happy, the meat is incredible, and I’m pretty guilt-free with it.
The nice thing is, this is becoming more and more common — or at least, available — as folks desire it more. SHOULD you decide to re-indulge yourself (and I’m not saying that you must — your reasons are your own), this is certainly one of the best options around.
Of course, you can always show up at my place and I’d be happy to serve you thick-cut pork chops that would make your eyes roll backwards in your head. The door’s always open.
I admire your convictions. I admire your writing even more. Welcome back to the scene.
I saw that Food Inc was on the other night. I hovered over it on my on-screen guide for a few seconds and then realized I had planned on making sausage on the grill the next night. So I switched to something else. Probably Golden Girls. I’m always watching Golden Girls.
pizza = perfect
true that…
xoxo
Yeah! Keep writing! It’s been dull without you.
It’s about time.. I was beginning to worry.. you are the 2nd person I know who stopped eating meat after seeing that movie. I’m never going to watch it. Ignorance is bliss but at the same time I am not that ignorant.
Welcome back..stop by Denver on your way to or from Hawaii…we have lot’s of fine vegetarian restaurants here.
Thank god you’re back !!!!
Smith Meadows, grass-fed beef, open-range chickens.
Takoma Park MD Farmers market every Sunday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
http://www.smithmeadows.com/index.php
It is so stinkin’ good to read something from you again. I worried that you had given this up (along with meat apparently). Thank God it’s just the meat.
Good Lord, child… you nearly had me sewing blankets and knitting baby hats with the flippant pregnancy remark.
As for the meat thing, I feel your pain. Some things you’re better off not knowing. However… have you ever spent time with an actual cow? They are the dumbest, smelliest animals ever. I don’t mind eating them. Just saying.
It’s good to have you back!!! *hugs*
Am a Food, Inc convert as well – but not all the way to vegetarian. You’ll find some organic meat – and it’s really, really good.
Chicken, too. I never liked it before – but I do now. Go figure.
And the preggo thing? Good one. *wink*
Congrats on your vegetarianism! As a former vegetarian, I salute you and wish you the best of luck. I learned how to cook some really good things when I was a vegetarian that made me miss meat less – rich curries, hearty soups, stir frys, and more. But, if you do decide to give in, please know that you can eat meat that is ethically raised. It’s not super difficult to find now, though it is most often more expensive. I know some of the people I buy food from, and I’m happy to eat meat they produce. If your cravings get to be too much and you want to explore meat that’s really OK to eat, please email me – I’d love to discuss.
i find myself sitting and watching the Food Network for hours in lieu of actually making food. my children also sit with me and watch the t.v. while we all make comments on how wonderful it would be if someone actually made this food for us.
i’m teaching them to be lazy already.
i’m so glad you are back in the saddle again.:)xoxoxo
I do not so much like my life without your writing in it.
Come to Switzerland! The meat is so not good there (and I’m pretty sure the cows WERE elected Prom King before meeting their predestined end), you won’t hardly even miss it.
What the hell is wrong with everyone? It is as if every other blogger is either becoming vegan or running marathons? What happened to the good ol’ days when bloggers = unhealthy and lazy?
What the hell is wrong with everyone? It is as if every other blogger is either becoming vegan or running marathons? What happened to the good ol’ days when bloggers = unhealthy and lazy? Hahah, it’s true every blooger these days seems to changed a lot ...
Followed you here through Tex’s blog and am so happy I did :)
I have been a vegetarian since ‘97 and I agree with the poster above: it does get easier. I did it for health reasons at first (I am petite but have always had very high cholesterol) and eventually, I did it for the animals as well. I’ve never seen Film, Inc., though I’m not sure it would be very informative.
Also, I’m not preggers but your post is making me crave pizza in the worst way. And it’s barely 10:30 in the morning :p
Followed you here through Tex’s blog and am so happy I did :)
I have been a vegetarian since ‘97 and I agree with the poster above: it does get easier. I did it for health reasons at first (I am petite but have always had very high cholesterol) and eventually, I did it for the animals as well. I’ve never seen Film, Inc., though I’m sure it would be very informative.
Also, I’m not preggers but your post is making me crave pizza in the worst way. And it’s barely 10:30 in the morning :p
12 yr. old daughter and I recently visited the ugly truth about animal raising/slaughter, and have pledged together to start with going veggie, allowing the occasional chick fil a. don’t judge, not that you would, we are a family of 6, and NO ONE EVER WANTS TO EAT THE SAME THING EVER ALREADY. so we have to tread in with our toes, lightly first. We too would like to procure meats that receive silk sheets. Or at least a pen fit for just one. If you find anything on the net, please share. So far, I’m eating a lot of tomato, cucumber and cheese sandwiches. I know. the cheese come from the milk that comes from the cows that are horribly horribly treated. But. one step at a time. yes?