Best shots

I was up this morning at 5:30. It’s a thing I do, the early morning wake up, and after wandering the apartment a bit and feeding the screaming cats I’m generally back asleep within the hour. This morning I lingered by the window a little longer than usual; the city looked amazing in the snow. Naked trees were now white, each branch covered with an even layer of icing. I took several pictures and then flipped through them over and over while back under the covers, like a child with a flashlight and a new comic. I’d post them here, but I like to flatter myself that someday I’ll finally have a stalker, and my neighborhood is easy to identify. I know. You can just feel the love.

I love my new camera, but have yet to bring it out on my important occasions. Last week a friend celebrated her 40th birthday with a spread of charcuterie, cheese, and some of the finest people I know. I didn’t bring the camera. I wish I had. There was a lot of joy under that roof, opportunities to capture candid laughs from across the room, to play with aperture while a candle flickered, but I just didn’t want to impose. There’s something about having anything other than a point and shoot at a small event. It changes the dynamics somehow, as I assume many cameras do, and seems to instruct people either to slink into another room or assume awkward facial poses.  I’d post some of my own here, but I’d very much like someday to have a stalker.

I wasn’t born equipped with long-term memory for details, the color of my hair when I was 15, the texture of the carpet in my first grad school apartment. Most of my life must be preserved in writing and photographs. I’m growing increasingly regretful that I haven’t documented even the last four months quite as I’d like to, so this week I’m going to order a camera bag, something manageable and me. I’m going to start toting this thing around more, using it when I’m moved to, capturing moments that may or may not make it to a saved folder on the hard drive. If I do it more often, maybe it’s something those close to me will become more accustomed to, releasing me from the burden of capturing moments from afar. Maybe with time, they’ll laugh often and openly in my company and care not about what kind of hair day it is or that they aren’t the same size they were last Christmas. And if not, well, then I have some stalking of my own to do.

10 Comments

  1. Posted 02.03.10 | Permalink

    Check out Jill-e camera bags. Very Stylish and hip. http://www.jill-e.com. Get shooting!

  2. Posted 02.03.10 | Permalink

    It’s kind of nice having a camera available to capture special moments. When I was in college I took tons of fast candid point-and-shoot shots of all of our crazy times and at reunions people would always be so disappointed whenever I didn’t bring the photo album.

    Unfortunately I no longer have that album and now I find myself more often taking pictures of things rather than people. I don’t know why. I have my camera with me all the time and it has really changed the way I look at things. It’s really nice to be able to review and reflect on those moments that only you saw, and then share them later with others.

  3. Posted 02.03.10 | Permalink

    *Grins*

    Eventually, friends and family become accustomed to the camera protruding from your arm or face; they learn to accept that it is part of you. (And excellent photos ensue!)

    :)

  4. Posted 02.03.10 | Permalink

    I take my Canon PowerShot SD800 everywhere. Reasonably priced, tiny, basically a digital point and shoot. It has image automatic stabilizing in it, so you could snap pics while riding on the back of a cheetah and they’d come out clear.

    Not that I’ve tried, of course. Riding on the back of a cheetah, I mean.

  5. Posted 02.03.10 | Permalink

    I look forward to seeing what your eye sees. Good shooting!

  6. Posted 02.04.10 | Permalink

    I have a terrible memory, too, and as you said, the idea of losing everything unless I document it scares me. It’s why I write – and why I want to become a better photographer, too! Get going. Get remembering!

  7. Posted 02.04.10 | Permalink

    What fortitude! I just got an e-mail with this camera bag link in it this morning (from Abbersnail).

    http://kellymoorebag.com/thebags.html/

  8. Posted 02.04.10 | Permalink

    But isn’t it weird, a bit, that we *can* document our lives? That we can video them, capture them on film and then replay them again and again, as though life also has a rewind button?

    I’m considering taking all the photos of me, burning them in a big dramatic pile and then stirring the ash into my tea. Yeah. Of course, the digital age has kind of made that grand gesture impossible now, hasn’t it?

    Damn.

  9. Posted 02.07.10 | Permalink

    Have you been to Shutter Sisters? It is such an amazing blog and they sell these awesome camera bags. I saw them a couple months back and just haven’t shelled out the money yet. They are really manageable and nicely made bags. Shutter Sisters are awesome too!

    First time commenter here, but have been lurking for a while. I love your writing style!

  10. Posted 02.15.10 | Permalink

    I tend to abuse my camera by just throwing it in my purse. There’s something about camera bags (unless I’m actually being paid to shoot) that really irritate me and take away the spontaneity. Either way, my camera is an extension of my body. I now force myself to leave it at home so that I don’t have to always document every moment. Kind of funny really.

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