Anonymity on the Internet is such an interesting thing. Is it a state of being? A manner of making your way on the Web? A cop out? You could make a case for it simply being who one is in her online interactions. She isn’t Jane Smith, the freelancer who reads in the 12 free minutes she has each day. Before she sleeps each night, she combs her favorite blogs and laughs until it wakes the wee-est of her three kids. She doesn’t comment; she hardly leaves a mark, in fact, with the exception of her IP address about which not a soul really cares. She makes no waves and can therefore lurk to her sleepy heart’s content. You could also make a solid case for anonymity serving its purpose in allowing one to make her way diplomatically through the blogosphere. Joan Smith, a relatively well-known blogger in her city, leaves comments using her login when they’re positive, when they promote her personal or professional agenda, when they don’t antagonize or call another’s view into question. It’s this Joan Smith’s way of maintaining status quo, of navigating the at times contemptuous blogosphere and being able to sleep at night. And being able to blog on several sites drama free because she hasn’t chosen camps in any issue of the moment. This? This is a cozy and safe place for most of us, as well as being completely legitimate.
In most cases, however, I think anonymity is a big old cop out. I vote for it being a lazy excuse for a Web presence in more than one way. First, if you comment anonymously, your viewpoint carries little weight, because you don’t have the gumption to put your online identity behind your words. As far as I’m concerned, you might as well not write them. For many of these commenters, leaving their (mostly negative) text is a game of ring and run. I want you to see the flaming pile of crap I wrote about your children or or your chin, but I don’t want you to respond with anything remotely resembling a comeback or justification or rational discussion. I’ve dropped my carefully crafted opinion on your doorstep, and now you’ll be left to deal with it. I’ll just sit in my car eating drive thru burritos and laughing at you with my friends.
If as a blogger you refuse to post anonymous comments that are negative, you may want to take a second look at how you’re running things. I know there are bloggers who will argue me to the death on this one, that their sites are not democracies, that they decide what content makes it to the page because it’s their life and all that good stuff. But is your writing supposed to be little more than a scrapbook, pages of tidy text and only flattering photos with sweet captions? Is it not an interactive, interesting forum? If not, I’d guess you’d close comments altogether. What’s the need for feedback if you can’t take the good with the bad? If we’re honest, sites with only one viewpoint (“great posts!” “you’re awesome!!1!1!!”) are relatively, well, boring. Let the record show I’m not talking about those comments which contain your home address, really hurtful stuff about your children, or negativity that prevents you from functioning in your daily life. There’s no question; I’m a fan of throwing those out with your first Blogger template. But the everyday? Someone not supporting the choice you made in a marriage or the views you expressed in a post? You’re more than that.
I also giggle when people think they can do or say anything truly anonymously on the Web. Think Statcounter and Sitemeter are all anyone has to identify your location? Thankfully, they aren’t. Those with reason to do so can match your anonymous comments with others you’ve made before under seemingly safe logins. If you haven’t made other arrangements, your full name — and likely your street address — is public to the world courtesy of Who Is. And in a tiny community like ours, there is little you can do without someone knowing just who you are. There is little exaggeration.
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. Ever commented anonymously? Moderate comments on your own site? Do tell. I welcome the discussion.
On a completely unrelated note, I’m taking anonymous (and other) questions via FormSpring. Please ask away as your bad ass self or the seemingly omnipresent anonymous. No pressure.
39 Comments
Ah, a thorny topic. In theory, anonymity doesn’t bother me, from writers or readers. At that same time, I noticed lately that almost all of the blogs I really love are written by writers who sooner or later, went public with their identities.
I comment as me. I am pseudo-anonymous, in that I don’t use my real name, but most people who know me IRL know my alias. I try to keep my internet interaction positive, because really, why not? There’s more than enough negativity around me, and I don’t need anymore. Mostly, I just lurk and read blogs that are bright and light and sparkling, really for the same reasons. I probably don’t comment enough; the folks who are providing this steady source of entertainment deserve my gratitude and feedback.
To that end, thanks, as always, for sharing bits of your brain with us.
Goodness, worry not about lurking. I’m speaking directly about dropping negativity without an obvious way to trace you. Not your MO, grey! Thank you for your thanks; I thank you for reading!
No, never anonymous. To me, it does feel like a cop-out. I’m of the opinion that you can say most things that are worth saying tactfully and when you say them that way, why not tack your name along with it, to personalize it some.
Anonymous is a cop out. And there really is no such thing on the internet, you are right.
I’ve always left up negative anonymous comments (that I can recall) because it’s part of the dialogue. Besides, I have bloguards and they come out en masse if someone disses me.
I rather like those moments.
Hee.
I think there are an awful lot of lurkers out there who read for enjoyment and never leave a comment. Until they’ve joined “the scene” and participate more actively, it’s kind of like watching TV – you can just sit there and enjoy it with little or no effort.
Whenever I go to the trouble to leave a comment that presents a different point of view from the poster, I make every effort to be tactful and respectful as I explain my thoughts on the subject. I’ve learned that unfortunately you can’t necessarily give the benefit of the doubt to all bloggers – some will come down hard on any commentor who is not 100% with them in every possible way. I often wonder whether those people are really worth the effort.
If anyone ever left me a comment saying something along the lines of “you suck” I am sure I would respond with something along the lines of “you raise an interesting point.” I would certainly give more thought to the comment if it came from a real (or fake) person as opposed to a blatantly anonymous entity.
For the most part I don’t leave negative comments. If I disagree with someone I choose to either express disagreement in a polite, respectful way or I don’t leave them at all.
That’s not to say that my idea of polite and respectful has always been construed as such. I once left a comment disagreeing with a blog post and was torn to shreds the next day for “being nasty,” though as far as I can tell the only nasty part of what I said was that I didn’t agree.
I had to stop reading that blog because I just don’t have that much time that I wasn’t to spoil my free time with that kind of drama.
As far as my blog, I don’t like that much negativity, but it bothers me far less now than it did a few years ago. I guess I’ve learned not to take it personally- even if that is how it was intended.
You are lucky. People read you blog, so you get good comments. The only anonymous comments I get are in Chinese, and it’s normally spam for Viagra. I never take anything personally. I blog anonymously, so the anonymous comments don’t bother me. They don’t know who I am and vise-versa. The only thing that bothers me is when no one comments on my blog.
I leave every comment up, even the negative ones, but I think people that flame and run away without identifying themselves are the worst kinds of cowards: they’re bullies. If the tables were turned they’d melt in a puddle of their own tears. It annoys me to no end.
I try to stay away from negativity. I have enough things to push up against in any given day, I don’t need to go looking for more. I will not shy away from giving a desenting opinion, but strive to always be respectful in doing it.
I try to keep comments positive, or just amusing, since I also try not to read blogs that piss me off. It’s the old “if you don’t have anything nice to say….”
however, I’ve had some lively dialoge with folks via email off the blog format. I think that’s more appropriate.
The only comments I don’t allow are spam. Because the whole idea of blogs is for an open discussion and I don’t honestly believe that everyone in this world agrees with me. But I think people who are just hateful and don’t bring anything to the discussion are allowed to be deleted. Especially if they are being mean to some other commenter and not me.
As for anonymity, I’m not anonymous. I’m lucky that I have a very common name. And I learned the hard way about blogging about things you shouldn’t, so I now own everything I write and am not scared about anyone finding it.
I’ve never left an anonymous comment, period. It smacks of high school BS and I don’t have time for that crap. I have left (a few) comments on blogs with differing opinions from that of the author, but I always try to do so respectfully and without a hint of maliciousness, and I’ve never been taken to task over it. If I guess if I felt I had to “go there” then why am I reading it in the first place?
I don’t moderate comments, but I’ve only gotten a few negative (and of course, anon) ones and really they were kind of laughable, so why not leave them up? To me, the “hit-and-run” commenters are the biggest cowards out there, and I will leave up the evidence of their cowardice for all to see.
The funny thing is, I gut a bunch of really hurtful, negative (and not surprisingly, mostly anonymous themselves) comments on an anonymous post I wrote for an anon “blog share” once. Not fun.
Yeah, I won’t be doing that again.
Before there was Web 2.0, there was slashdot. You could comment on stories about tech, but not write a blog. If you didn’t sign in your comments were attributed to Anonymous Coward and there was a filter to prevent AC comments from being shown. The largest problem with them was ppl who would be nice most of the time, but if they wanted to really tear someone a new one, they’d log out and post AC so they didn’t have to pay the consequences. For these reasons I tend to ignore anything that doesn’t, as you put it, have someone’s online identity vouching for it.
I never post comments I make anononymously (Hi!) – and if it’s something I don;t like/agree with, I will usually just move on without saying anything.
I (luckily) haven’t dealt with many negative comments on my own site, but when they’ve happened, I let them stand.
I leave the negative ones up and they are all “anonymous”, though of course they aren’t really an are all generally from the same 2 or 3 people
also, I lurk more than comment but when I do comment it is always with legit, full-web disclosure
otherwise, why bother?
I find this a very curious post coming from someone who blogs under at least a 3/4 anonymous profile herself. For all we know about the inner tickings of Kris, we don’t know an awful lot of identifiable information. I’m not saying that’s bad — I’m just amused.
I used to troll the Interwebz underneath various pseudonyms, mostly because I thought I was badass when in truth I was a fart in a snowstorm. Eventually I gave up — my real name goes on 99.98% of everything now, my blog contains my real name and information, my homepage is entirely revealing. There’s precious little reason to hide and it’s hard to do so anyway, so I just don’t even bother.
Commentary on my blog goes to publish assuming it’s not spam, regardless of its positive or negative position. Everyone has a right to their opinion on my site, even if I don’t agree with it. To filter that out is to deny what your readers mean to you, I think, and they’re very precious to me, and I respect them.
very insightful post, as usual.
i don’t comment on every blog post i read, but when i do, it’s not anonymous.
and since my mother is the most common visitor to blog, i don’t have to deal with negative comments. she’s good like that.
sincerely, kris, i love your blog. i’ve never considered commenting in a negative fashion in this here house of laughter and wit. but if i ever feel a desire to do so, i will at least give you my identity.
i’ve thought long and hard on this subject as of late. i seem to receive car bombs right and left and well, i refuse to delete them. the only time i deleted something was when was shitty, i responded, other people responded and i was then threatened legal action. Because of HER truly crappy comment.
as a whole, i’m not anonymous unless i can’t seem to remember my password to login when commenting and i as a rule never leave negative and shitty words on someone else’s site because a) they don’t care and b) i really don’t care about what they have to say.
except for you my dear.
I think that you are dealing with 2 related issues. Traveling, or believing you’re traveling, anonymously, and being mean.
Obviously people have differing opinions. On the web and in real life if I disagree and wish to express it, I’ll do it stating my case, pointing out flaws in your thinking and offering a debate. That’s what makes an evening with friends interesting. Leaving a “you suck” is childish. It doesn’t add to the debate or offer critique. I would never accept that level of expression from my young kids.
The second issue is anonymity. It’s related to the first because some people that think they are unidentifiable will behave in antisocial ways. Look at protesters wearing scarves or vandals. The reality is though, you truly aren’t anonymous on the webs. With a little effort seeming unrelated bits you’ve left on the web can be connected. I’ve easily found home addresses, phone numbers, and work locations just for the challenge of solving a puzzle.
I try to guard my identity on line. I don’t write a blog. I’ve considered it (ignoring the simple fact that you need some writing talent) but in my profession and location I would have to give up any chance at anonymity to make it worth reading. I consider every time that I have to put down my email which one I’ll use, but even using my non-identifying one only provides minimal protection.
In the end it’s up to the blog writer. It’s your sandbox, you make the rules, and you are the one that gets the “high” from writing.
Any anonymous commenting I’ve done has been a result of me being too lazy to register on a site or create a profile with an actual username. But that’s not an issue these days.
How negative are we talking with regard to these comments? I don’t agree with leaving comments that are truly hurtful or crushing. Ones that highlight a different point of view, if communicated in a non-asshole-ish way, are perfectly fine. I think there’s little room in the blogosphere for haters, though. If someone’s opinions or lifestyle bothers you that much, don’t read their blog and keep your negativity to yourself. Such an idealistic dream, I know.
Never comment anonymously, don’t moderate comments on my own blog. Most of the drama in the blogosphere is … eh…. Just silly. Really. Like macbeth’s poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage, etc. (hey, you brought him up). I like sincerely motivated intelligent debate but in a mediated environment where people are twittering their posts as they publish them and getting instantaneous response, it’s hard to believe that concentrated thought is going into much of on line discourse.
Wait. Was that too incendiary?
Also, I love cheese, lie to others way more often than I lie to myself and think you should dive The Blue Hole before you die. (no Internet; trying to catch up with iPhone which isn’t as much fun as it sounds, so combining comments.)
I refuse to ever, ever comment anonymously. And if the situation warrants it, I will type in my real name at the bottom of the post. Just for emphasis.
Also, I only screen comments for spam and crappy syntax. Argue with me eloquently, and even if I disagree, I am likely to become your new best friend. I love a good, rousing discussion.
I am not always right; I frequently say wrong things. I love humans and hate people.
Anonymity is a threadbare cloak, at best. It scarcely covers the shoulders of the feeble-minded who wear it; little do they realize their (monumental) backsides are hanging out for all the world to see.
He laughs best who laughs last.
I don’t comment anonymously. I never have, not on purpose (I suppose there could have been some sort of tech malfunction at some point, considering it’s me.) I just don’t see the point. I think I’m too big on owning my words for that. I also don’t much see the point of fighting or goading someone on the internet – conflict is a tough thing for me and I try to avoid it, but when i do get involved in it there really has to be a purpose. Taking my name off of it removes that, for me.
I don’t get that many comments and the few that haven’t been nice have had made-up names, clearly. I left them. I did have a creepy, stalkerish person for awhile and before I dealt with him directly I did delete some of his comments because they were awkward and in some cases went on way longer than the posts. Ugh.
I always log in to comment, but then again, I tend to keep things positive. I’m probably the boring, “That’s awesome! You’re hilarious!” commenter too many times. But I do feel like I mostly read blogs of people I like, and so if I’m there, I’m there to support them.
In theory, I don’t mind if people comment anonymously. I assume it’s mainly people who don’t have blogs who do so (and then sometimes they sign their name at the bottom).
But whenever people want to make truly assholey comments, they always seem to make them anonymously. And that really pisses me off. Because usually the negative ones are purely to make people feel bad, rather than to give some kind of constructive point of view.
Forgot to say that if I were a creepy douchebag, I would definitely comment anonymously.
I don’t comment anonymously. I do it as myself, or I don’t do it at all. I don’t erase anonymous comment so long as they’re not completely offensive, but I also don’t engage in their douchebaggery and asshattedness.
Cruising anonymously? Fine. Leaving anonymous comments? Not cool.
Case closed.
I’m continually amazed at just how rich and thoughtful your comments are. I read every single one. And then figure out your home addresses.
I DO NOT AT LEAST NOT ON WEEKDAYS. AM BUSY.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. And for not being creepy douchebags.
I comment as me, unless it’s a joke. For instance, I will comment as myself, and then perhaps post a follow up as a celeb, an animal, or perhaps a body part.
Do I delete negative comments? Only if they make other people uncomfortable. There is a line as to what’s appropriate, even with freedom of typing.
One thing I can’t stand is being corrected on spelling or punctuation AS A COMMENT. Sheesh. Just e-mail me the fuggin’ note that I need to correct something.
I (thankfully) haven’t had cause to moderate comments on my blog. I’ve never had an anonymous comment either, but that may be because my space is a baby blog that grew into a little more for me. I may just be so boring that no one cares. I’ve never commented anonymously. If I don’t care to put my name on something, I keep it to myself.
Love, love, love your insights.
P.S. I’m pretty sure I would hunt someone down and torture them with an electric sander if they said something about my child, though.
someone once pointed out to me that commenting as Anon isnt very dif than commenting as “suicide_blond” ….
sooo… theres that…
i have only deleted one comment and it was because the language was so vicious and when i say vicious i mean racist and hateful…that i didnt want anyone to search those words and find my lil corner of the net.. maybe in hindsight i should have just ignored it… i dont know… interesting food for thought… thank you
xoxo
Yikes, my comment got lost. I swear on my child’s life I left a comment last night.
I had so much to say about this, maybe it was too much to say and you deleted my comment. I kid. Anyways, I don’t have a problem so much with anonymous blog authors as much as I do anonymous commenters who torment people. Fairly cowardly behaviour if you ask me.
I have commented annonymously, usually because I don’t want to be bothered registering for Everybody’s site (I don’t enjoy trying to remember passwords) I’m usually positive,not negative anyway. That said, there is No Privacy on the Internet, only the Illusion of Privacy. All those of us on Facebook, My Space Google Buzz,etc… know this deep down (or should)
The stories of folks losing their Jobs/ Careers for . . .Unfortunate Pictures/Postings are out there for anyone with a search engine & a Brain. Many prospective employers will look up your pages-comments-or anything else out there about you. I dislike that kind of snooping but just know that it is Human Nature that will ensure it expands. I like talking with people and have some interesting conversations on the job, but too many hours working & too few repeated interactions leave me with. . .Twitter. My blogging has suffered as I find myself going to Tweet far more than posting (who hasn’t?) and combined with almost no one reading what I have to post anyway leaves me. . .exactly where I am now. Do I have the Cooties? No. Just aonther Twitterer looking for Connection in this crazy internet.
By The Way: if you see me anywhere- Say Hi! I like the Social part of this!
I don’t comment anonymously. And the only comments that don’t make it to my page are spam. I don’t moderate them – once, I posted this wonderful story and it was so heartfelt and raw. And somewhere around comment #18, a guy typed “You got nice tits”. My husband laughs about that to this day.
PS But I do feel like I have to censor myself. I hate that.
I wouldn’t comment anonymously, but then again I think I have a pretty benign web presence. I sometimes read blogs that ignite my outrage, and I think about commenting, but I usually just leave and don’t go back, and hope the lack of attention will speak loudest. It’s the same way I would conduct myself at someone’s home. I don’t have an objection to others commenting anonymously. I like comments, commentary, and controversy.
I never post or comment anonymously. And I was just telling Sizzle the other day that I’m pretty pissed that I don’t have any trolls. I DO APPALLING THINGS, DAMNIT. WHERE IS MY HATE MAIL?
*sigh*
I have commented anonymously, but not in years.
I have moderated comments on my site(s). I leave almost every non-spam comment up. Fair is fair most of the time, but sometimes when something is too hateful or offensive or threatening (especially to someone other than myself) I just delete it.
Fuck ‘em. It’s my blog.
I love anonymity when it’s positive – things people are too nervous to say, maybe – but despise it when it’s a front for meanness. I post anonymous comments on my blog, except for the bout of crazy-anti-Semitic ones I got. Wish I’d had more than Sitemeter back then.
I don’t comment anonymously nor do I remove negative comments, only spam comments. However, I’ve recently created an anonymous blog because I wanted to talk about certain people *ahem* without their ever finding out.
It may be a cop-out but I’m also protecting myself in case a prospective employer finds the blog.
Hee Hee. Just kidding! I have never commented anonymously and would never do so. And I’ve only deleted the foreign spam comments. However, I did have a well-known blogger leave me some nasty comments once and then she went back and deleted them herself. It was irritating because all of the subsequent comments and my responses made no sense after that. Alas, I try to stay away from online drama now.