I’m well aware that I’m becoming something of a cat blogger, what with the regular updates and the explicit photos of my kids naked in the bathtub. Later this week I’ll be posting questions about whether they make neti pots for toddler-aged felines, so be sure to set your Outlook calendars for that one. Today it’s a rather benign update on Bug’s health saga. You’ll live.
For those of you who haven’t hung on every word, Bug started yelling for food and on occasion wielding an axe during the wee hours of the night. I assumed this was him acting out, what with the loud rap music and the “Keep Out” sign on his bedroom door, so I didn’t take him to the vet right away. Number One Mom. To date we know that it’s not a thyroid issue, is not liver failure (that makes one of us), and that he has a urinary tract infection. We’re treating the infection with oral antibiotics that I shove down his throat twice daily in an exercise I fondly call The Yowling.
His vet called late yesterday with the results of his most recent blood and fecal work. The news is better than the words sound; Bug does not have diabeet-us! nor does he have worms or other parasites! Good news, everyone! As well we know, this means he won’t need insulin and all the sugar free Jello in the fridge is mine. So the vet thinks we’re not necessarily back to square one, but that there is a decent clinical explanation for what’s been happening: my cat is being a dick.
Now now. You know I love the little man with all my heart. But the medical profession has spoken. Diagnosis? Dick.
Turns out she thinks that if his food anxiety is not somehow related to his UTI that the next best explanation is that it’s a behavioral issue. I’m stumped, truly. I think of the reasons kids would act out in similar ways, and I just can’t piece it together. There aren’t new babies, or new cats, or even fresh groceries in the house. I don’t bring strange men home save on the Sabbath. Bug is well-fed and adored and loved more than I can possibly explain. I feed some of my cheese to this little hairball, people. Perfectly good cheese.
I’m beyond thrilled that all data point to healthy. This has been a long road for both us, and many clinic visits later, the news is incredibly comforting. But if I’m honest, I also wonder where I go from here. I’ve tried a few things to break the reinforcement between his demands and food. So now do I call home on a regular basis to wake him during the day? Run him on a treadmill so he doesn’t have the energy to keep me up? Better yet, threaten to set him aloft in a home-made balloon so he knows what fear and reality are really all about?!?
You know better. I adore this cat. He is part of my family. And if he needs it, I’ll be up to feed him. Maybe not his beloved dairy, but the finest kibble my corner store has to offer. At 4 and at 5 and at 6 am, I’ll rub his wee chin as he leans gently into my hand. And I’ll melt into a messy pool of love right there on the living room floor as he dissolves into a gentle, warm swirl of purrs. Purrs so loud that he can’t hear what his mama’s thinking.
Dick.
18 Comments
JOKES, people. JOKES.
When we can’t cry, we laugh. And poke fun.
I think that most cat problems come down to them being dicks.
And they are even bigger dicks when they have diabetes, so you are lucky you dodged that bullet.
I remember you saying that you had a boyfriend. I’m ASSuming that it’s a fairly new thing? If so, perhaps Bug is acting out of jealousy.
Apart from that, I’ve got nothing. I’ve never shared space with kitties.
Yet another possibility is that Bug is just impatient for Season 6 of LOST, and is perhaps just walking about screaming “BAD ROBOT!” in kittenese. I know it seems far-fetched, but if Hurley can maintain his body mass whilst shipwrecked, Bug can surely eat his way through 20lbs of kibble a week and still stay svelte.
Maybe we can install a Hatch under your bed alongside the man box? Just a thought.
4 8 15 16 23 42
LOL. Time to channel your inner Cat Whisperer.
Perhaps it’s time to just consider leaving the 50lb. bag of Ol’ Remus Kat Kibble open at the top just underneath the edge of the countertop to allow Bug to gluttonize at his leisure. Eventually he’ll get too large and sluggish to get into the bag and his weight will even out his hunger so they balance. Knowing some cats, this might be only slightly before the, “Ka-blam!” stage, but that’s the risks we face in providing.
I think the yeowling is probably him not knowing that Mama has to work while he’s sleeping & wanting to be fed. In other words, his clock is screwed up. Keeping him up isn’t an Option, cats don’t take bothering well. I might suggest a really good meal right before bed, such as cut up chicken or Tuna (not cat food) see if the resulting food coma solves your problem.
First of all, kudos to King Monkeypants for a hilarious comment.
I happen to be a crazy cat lady myself, and my Lucy used to get UTIs all the time. Pain in the ass. And smelly. We switched her food to the Urinary Tract Health stuff, and haven’t had issues since. Fingers crossed.
I love Los Gatos, but Spider is a dick, Frannie is bossy and Kato…well, there is something that is just not right about that boy.
I feed my three a grain free diet and they have not had a UTI or any skin or stomach issues since.
I have a cat that does almost the exact same thing (though it’s not every morning at 4). I have the added bonus of her sometimes waiting for me to use the litter box until we can each use the bathroom at the same time.
I have a cat who is a little too codependent.
I too have a codependent cat. Or perhaps, I’m the codependent one? She requires petting while she eats. She requires encouragement to enter the litter box. And she requires chasing whenever she feels like it. I get nothing done.
The answer is: Kittycat Prozac. Seriously. Zachariah was prescribed it when he was a mixed-up youngun. They make a liver-tab kitty version.
Zack needed only two weeks to readjust, and then he was able to cope without the meds. Ah, if only the same were true of his pop.
The other answer is: Pill Pockets by Greenies. I have a cat who gets four pills a day. I haven’t had to wipe up cat drool that is saturated with prednisolone or apply bandages to bleeding arms. A win-win situation all around.
to hear you have a cat with “issues” makes me laugh says the person with a psych/o degree to another….
ummm… can you take me to the vet? i think i have some major issues he/she/it can diagnose that my docs can’t.:)my insurance sucks, can i qualify as a dependent? damn, healthcare….
I’m so glad Bug isn’t diabetic. His former housemate officially is – though I will tell you if he ever gets dx with the diabeet-us that so far it isn’t that bad.
In the meantime, Bug – stop being a dick and let your momma sleep!
Is it wrong that I call my Siamese King Monkeypants? I’m not sure how it started, maybe because they have similar senses of humor.
I’m glad Bug is doing better. Sucks to get old.
OMG, I have a 3 yr old “DICK CAT” Too. He is food obsessed and wakes me up every morning in the wee hours for some canned food. He is relentless. He will meow, cry, howl, claw my face, purr – anything he can that will get me out of bed to feed him canned food that he will take 3 bites off and walk away from! Nothing works! So let me know if you have any luck. I’ve tried feeding him at nidnight before I go to bed and that doesnt work either!
Love the blog btw!
This is often a great blog. I’ve been wanting for this info for around four days. I finally found this website which contains some new info that I didn’t notice anywhere. One question to anyone. Does anyone have an idea where I can get before-and-after footage of individuals who have succedded in their hunt for a better shape? Many thanks all.