You’re up 1.2 pounds.
I wanted to choke the woman behind the table. This was not possible, I thought, not possible because I’d stuck to the plan, even when I’d been drinking, even when I ate a quarter of my points in popcorn one night at 11 pm. I’d avoided margaritas and steered clear of the real goodness at Rosa Mexicana. I’d planned and written down everything I’d eaten, hearing the call of the siren that is Skinny.
I added my 1.2 pounds to last week’s increase – .6 pounds – weight gain I’d chalked up to frozen eyelashes and the dramatic weight of the world on my shoulders. I reminded myself that this is a journey and not a marathon, or a sprint and not a process, or whatever the hell it is people say to make themselves feel better when they fail at something.
I didn’t choke the well-intentioned woman behind the table. Instead, I reviewed my list of go to excuses. I didn’t have my period and I wasn’t pregnant. I wore tights that fit me snugly, removed my shoes and blazer and coat promptly upon arrival, and found no trace of cats hiding in my dress. Unlike the Wasted Weigh In of September 1996, I hadn’t eaten half a cheese pizza for breakfast, even though that would have been exquisite. And I most certainly did not fantasize about making sweet love to its gooey cheese face and its bubbled crust. Without a napkin.
I am taking prednisone, the wee pills of the gods that erase hives from my pale, sensitive skin, but I will stop short of blaming this gain on those that have helped me. After all, plenty of humans take steroids without gaining weight, don’t they? I haven’t taken more than my daily 40 milligrams and in fact began tapering my dose late last week. Also worthy of note? I didn’t break a home run record. And I have yet to take Sookie down in a Seaside Heights bar fight.
Onward. I will focus on drinking the minimum water the program requires, which at times is akin to guzzling the deep end of the baby pool. I will use imagery to envision myself wearing short shorts, legs Naired and cellulite erased by Photoshop. I’ll eat filling foods rather than that delightful everything bagel with chive cream cheese, the one that leaves me hungry by 11 am and isolated at early morning meetings. I’ll do what it takes, because I’d really like my body back. And success tastes equally as good as being thin feels.
21 Comments
I would suggest that the steroids might be making you retain water.
If you are exercising, particularly any strength training, that could make you gain weight some weeks as muscle weighs more than fat. After baby, I did WW and found that I went up once or twice for no good reason, probably because of the weight training. After I switched programs, I would lose a pound one week, then gain one the next. My weight ended up in the same ballpark, but I was about 4 sizes smaller.
I’ve been doing great since the first of the year and have lost just a pound. I’m, well, I’m pretty annoyed about that. Even though it isn’t a sprint, I’d prefer it to at least be a brisk walk.
I just wrote a post about the scale being an asshole. I think you’re right, this is a process, and you will get there. And so will I. And if we don’t, let’s start a commune where the more carbs you eat a day, the more wine you are allotted at night.
Scales are assholes…just keep doing what you’re doing.
Hang in there. I’m right there with you.
oh man– not to encourage excuses, but yes yes, yes it probably is the prednisone. i gained about 7 lbs this fall (which for me is weird– my career is in the fitness industry, and while i’m not a tiny person, at all, i do keep a close eye on my weight) after two rounds of prednisone. i was at the doc for something else yesterday and got weighed and the doc commented on my weight gain, and apologized for the steroid prescription. she said it happens all the time.
gack, sorry. steroids aren’t NEARLY as yummy as pizza.
“Usually the most dreaded of prednisone’s side-effects, increased appetite and weight gain are seen to some degree by nearly all patients.”
Just sayin.
SNOOKI. You don’t really watch the show, do you? :)
If it helps, Kris, I am inspired by you. I’ve been on the WW wagon several times, and I’m currently pondering getting back on. Having you post these updates, warts and all, is a huge boost for me. Thanks for sharing!
woman! drink the water! horrid as it is, it helps. flood your body with it! Yes! i’m using way! too! many! exclaimation points! you’ll piss like a race horse, but it’ll help with any any water retention that the pred is most certainly causing. i go for my weigh in tomorrow night. with the exception of my cheese dip episode on friday night, i stayed on plan pretty much. ok, more cheese dip on saturday night, whatev… red velvet 1 point bars… *drool*
Drink the water, it’s true. But you’d also enjoy the humor of the book I’m reading. I’d drag my fat ass off the couch to go get it out of the car so I could tell you the name of the author, but I’m too lazy. Anyway, it’s called “Such a Pretty Fat: A Narcissist’s Journey to Finding Out if This Life Is Making Her Ass Look Fat. Or, Why Pie Is Not the Answer.” Or something pretty close to that, but again, me = too lazy to go get the actual book. But you should. It’s freakin’ hysterical, and the only thing that makes being on the Precor runner worthwhile.
hang tuff kiddo…
xoxo
Hey. You! You there!
You did something you aren’t Actually allowed to do… did you realize that? You sasid “fail.” And I’m telling Mom.
You haven’t reached your goal yet (reminder), so this isn’t a fail. Yo. It’s Part of the process. 2 steps forward 1.8 pounds back.
Not fail! WIN.
I think blaming it on Mark McGwire is the best solution yet.
You’ll get there, woman.
I have no idea how to make you feel better so I’ll just tell you: You look beautiful today. :)
Prednisone is the devil. It makes you want to eat everything in sight and also makes you puffy. People on it long-term often develop “moon face” where their faces puff up and round out as a result of it. Just resist the urge to gorge on food and you will lose alot of the puffiness once you taper off of it.
I weighed in for Loser Moms last night and I have gained eight pounds since Thanksgiving. Eight. Of the 19 I lost last year.
It’s just silly and I’m so irritated. I’ve done this so many times and I don’t know why I can’t just get it. Water consumption shouldn’t be this difficult to accomplish.
I know what I need to do though, so the easy learning curve is some consolation. ;)
I can only offer you my love and support….and a big bottle of sugar-free margarita mix, if you’re interested. Hang in, Kitten.
Cannot. stop. laughing. at Sookie. I’m leaving it.
I’m always amazed at how many of us are going through a particular feeling or process at any given time. Hot damn the Interwebs are lovely.
I am voting for the Prednisone as the culprit. It feels crummy, though, particularly when you’re doing everything right.
Been on and off the WW train many times. Have been enjoying reading your journey here. I lost 40 #s about 3 years ago, and got down to a size 2. Didn’t even think my “big boned” body was capable of that, but it was. Keep at it. You may be surprised … often when I was on plan, did everything correctly, I’d gain a little, but the next week, you may have a bigger, and more inspiring loss :)