I know everyone spends money on different things. My friend Aimee will buy three types of low fat cheese when she’s at the grocery store. I don’t really get it. Unless it’s a stilton vs. brie-off, isn’t one cheese enough? Particularly one made of three forms of sorbate? Jenny buys expensive hair care products. I do not, choosing instead whatever is on sale at CVS and intended for people with limp, broken tresses and growing bald spots. I do not spend money on calf implants, opera tickets, exercise equipment, fancy underwear, adopting manatees, or makeup that matches my skin tone.
I’m one of those frugalistas, they might say, the They who makes up funny names for things. I’m one of those women who doesn’t pay more than 30 dollars for jeans but expects to travel well when I finally do. Travel is important to me. Special events are important to me. So unless your wedding is in Madagascar, and quite possibly even if it is, I will do everything in my power to be there for you. And not just so you’ll come to mine when it finally happens. And IT WILL HAPPEN.
I’m adding paying someone to clean my living space to my list of must haves, things that improve my quality of life to a point that I won’t go back. Have you had this done? Someone comes into your home with new sponges and some sort of otherworldly cleaning ability and in two hours makes it look like a hotel suite, people. And she doesn’t break anything OR kill the cats. If you haven’t done this, you really should. You should cancel all other important things this month, like dentists’ appointments and breastfeeding and you should call your nearest MaidPro and say PLEASE COME DO THE NICE BLEACHING AND SPRAYING IN MY NOOKS AND CRANNIES, IN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. And then, dear friends, you can call your mother no fewer than four! times when you get home from work to tell her that they cleaned the soap scum in the shower and the nasty microwave and the refrigerator you didn’t even mention needed cleaning and they even left you a STARBURST FRUIT CHEW! And when you rest that night under tightly pulled sheets, you’ll think of my words and sigh contentedly, and regret little that you can’t afford clothes to sleep in.
23 Comments
It is one if life’s greatest luxuries not to scrub your own toilet. Highly recommend it.
I call my cleaning service a marriage saver. Because not fighting about cleaning definitely saved my marriage.
I’m with jodifur. I would have been divorced years ago if not for our cleaning lady.
Cleaning even a tenth of one’s home is to having it professionally cleaned as stubbing a toe is to multiple orgasm. So delightfully pleased for you!
I was thinking something more along the lines of the Cotswolds for a wedding. Save your pennies (shillings?)!
So an eligible suitor would get extra brownie points if he were to say to you “I *love* doing housework.” Straight faced, of course.
I would totally do this, if I could only get over the initial shame of having a stranger discover the giant hairball tumbleweeds that reside behind the couch.
Plus I’d probably want to hug them all the time, and I think that’s generally frowned upon.
Did King Monkey Pants propose? He seems so nice from his tweets. (I know, you don’t have to tell us. But he does seem really nice. And funny.)
My mother cleans my house (yes I pay her, she’s retired and needs the income and is in very good health). It’s nice because I trust her, and then again not because, well, it’s your mother in your stuff if you know what I mean.
The cleaning ladies and separate closets. Makes my marriage work.
I’m so with you. I’m sloppy by nature, and so being forced to put my things away before the cleaning people come has probably helped my marriage more than I’ll ever know.
I would love, love to have some one clean….alas I am cheap. Also, I am a little freaked out by someone knowing all the little dirty spots in the house….I may be able to get over these things, though. BTW: I, too, do not like Seinfeld.
Ok, voice of dissention here. I couldn’t have someone come in and clean my house for me, not even for a Starburst Fruit Chew! (and that’s saying a lot). I do agree that it must be sublime, but I live in a 500 sq. ft. studio apartment; if I can’t keep that clean,then I honestly don’t think I deserve a maid service. Besides, I’m just to cheap. I’d rather save that $50 or $80 or whatever it is and buy shoes, or shit like that. =-)
BUT, I’d be happy to save my pennies if the Cotswolds are on the table. =-)
Yes, yes and yes.
But also, spend more money on jeans. It is totally worth it.
It’s like we were separated at birth! I too am cheap with everything else (I buy my clothes exclusively at thrift stores. And I got to the cheaper of the two thrift stores in my ‘hood), but totally think my cleaner is worth every penny!
I’ve been wanting a cleaning person for a while now, but I’m too lazy to make the call. And, if I’m that lazy, you can imagine what my toilet looks like.
So, rock, hard place.
Investing in a cleaning lady was the BEST decision I ever made!! I just realized one day that there are just certain things in life that I do not excel at and many that I do. So I started throwing money at my shortcomings and I’ve never looked back!
It’s a matter of time as well as desire. I can be doing something (or nothing) else while the cleaning service is cleaning. And they always do more than I would anyway. So, yes! A thousand times, yes!
How much do they cost? I’m broke.
This has been on my list of things to do for a while – just haven’t been able to find a good service. Definitely a marriage saver. Cleaning is the only thing my husband and I argue about. And he’s willing to scrub toilets – with his bare hands. It’s gross which is why I actually discourage it…
For those of you who think you’re too cheap to go this route, here’s another way to think about it. It’s a way of spreading the wealth. If you can afford it, why not give someone who needs the work some work? Then you can have a clean house AND feel all good about yourself helping society and shit.
I paid a friend $100 to clean my place when I went out of town. I almost peed myself with glee when I got home and saw my sparkly tub.
Do you have any recommendations for reasonably priced, non-sketchy cleaning services?
its like the best little present you can give to yourself.
Squee! I’m booked for next Friday. Wanna come over and eat off of my floors?
I just stumbled upon your blog by accident and couldn’t stop reading…you are absolutely hysterical and if you do ever write that bound book that people will read on trains, I will be one of the people buying it! God Bless! :)
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