I caught an episode of Laguna Beach this weekend, more like actually sought it out, because I love train wrecks and hair extensions. One of my favorite characters – people? – was Jessica, because sweet Lord I just wanted to shake her, to take her out for Red Bull in a red Solo cup and tell her that there was more to the world than stupid boys. Still, more complex than the other girls, she was real and neurotic and unsure of herself, on the verge of breaking down at any moment. Which was refreshing, considering the others knew they were smoking hot and could lure any man into sleeping with them or at least going down to the beach for a bonfire and blue balls.

Jessica did this awful thing repeatedly, one that made it painful to watch her on screen. She let the boy of the moment rule all aspects of her life. He was an addiction and every episode a circus act. Lots of bending, makeup, and uncomfortable laughter. When Jessica was with this boy, she was all flailing arms, jumping in front of him so he’d look her in the eyes, yelling at him because negative attention is still attention. And he couldn’t have cared less. All the while his face said DUH and his body said TAKE ME BACK TO MY FRIENDS, PSYCHO. Jessica would think they had plans, and would call him repeatedly, and he wouldn’t pick up her calls, then wouldn’t call her back, then he’d take another girl out to dinner while Jess stayed home and wondered which Ivy League college she’d attend when she finally wised up and became a little less dependent and rocked out to the Indigo Girls on her iPod. Yeah, that probably didn’t happen. Even after he’d stood her up more than thrice, she’d go out with the girls and talk in stream of consciousness about how she was sure he wasn’t cheating on her, and how those were just rumors, and how she was sure he cared about her because didn’t he? You guys saw him at the party with his arm around her and he seemed to like her in the moment, right? I mean RIGHT?

For some reason I always had a little more faith in Jessica, because there was something innocent and bright and less slutty to her than the other girls. So like a grown woman without children to care for might, I Googled her to see what she’s up to. She’s alive, which is a good start. She doesn’t appear to be on any reality shows, which is a bonus given that return offenders seem to love coming back to the shows that took their ability ever to get respectable jobs. She’s also engaged (if not married), and pictures of her sweet engagement were easily found on blogs and gossip sites. In the few I found, she’s barefoot on a beach and clearly caught off guard, her suitor having staged quite an elaborate little set on which to get down on one knee. She’s laughing in many pics, all those in which they aren’t kissing, and her eyes are lit with happiness and the spark of a woman in love. And he’s goofy around her, leaning toward her, holding her hand, and everything about his body says I WANT TO BE HERE. WITH YOU. RIGHT HERE. I wonder if she even thinks about the boy that took up all that time.