Comments on: WTF? (Rated PG-13 for gratuitous use of words with the prefix ass and gross generalizations.)

By: Tara

Tara — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:53:10 +0000

I heart you. A to the Men. I thought I was the only one with Whole Foods hate and usually end up wishing I could be more zen about the whole shopping experience, but now…now I feel vindicated. Luckily I have moved somewhat away from the Whole Foods I used to visit. i thought I had found salvation in Harris Teeter, but that can have some of the same Whole Foods tendencies…thankfully not to the degree of WF. I too prefer the unsafe-safeway (as we call it in our household) or the ghetto giant or GG. Thanks for giving WF haters a voice.

By: 180|360

180|360 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 00:14:16 +0000

At the risk of getting stoned by fellow readers, Whole Foods is the closest I can get to farmers market-like food here in the desert. The people that work at our local stores are kind and helpful. But, I’ve noticed that the clientele is totally different during the day (better) than that in the evenings (annoying,) so I try to shop during the day whenever possible. That said, I was recently shopping at WF in Venice Beach last month and wanted to shoot myself in the face while there. The shoppers were annoying, the parking lot ridiculously full, the people that worked there didn’t give a shit. Blah Blah Blah.

{Don’t hate me!} :)

By: Sheena

Sheena — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:02:38 +0000

I’m so happy that you wrote this because I thought I would be cast off if I declared my hatred for WF amongst my peers. Now I know there are others who feel the same way I do. I go there for lunch because they have these cool kiosks with different foods. Now, I might have to 2nd guess that because the food server was busy staring off into space (or high?) and couldn’t be bothered to give me my food once it was ordered. The freaking CHEF had to come and give it to me.

By: laurie

laurie — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 06:52:33 +0000

I buy produce there because Giant sucks and also almonds and cheese. Those are my Whole Foods things. The meat section also makes me feel better about killing things but I don’t buy anything there so much.

But the Rockville store – nay, the people within – make me want to shoot it up. Silver Spring = marginally better, and i always find myself wondering why why why when I go in.

This? Died. “Buddy, there’s a reason the hole in that bubble isn’t big enough to fit your entire head. For shame, affluent Arlington asshats. For shame.” And the pebble bread. Oh LORD I’m psyched to drink beer with you.

By: Alice

Alice — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:52:10 +0000

having just stopped at WF on my way home tonight to buy dinner, i have obviously been seduced by their siren song… but jesus h, this was awesome.

By: abbersnail

abbersnail — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:36:25 +0000

Four years into my San Francisco life, WF actually seems pretty “normal” to me. Like, HEY! I can get fruit AND meat AND toilet paper in one store! GENIUS!

Granted, I’m also living among the most smug population in all the world, so I might just be immune to all of the assholery!

By: Ulysses

Ulysses — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:33:45 +0000

The ass-Whole Foods thing is best in extreme moderation — like when you’re trying to find some chocolate to shave over that raspberry cabernet sorbet for that special dinner guest…

By: Keb

Keb — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:42:27 +0000

And, also…awww elle PUBLIX!!! YAY PUBLIX!

By: m

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:20:00 +0000

dude, this post set me free! i thought i was the only individual mourning the loss of variety in grocery stores. there’s a greater food variety in drug stores.

nothing is worse than trader joe’s, though. not even wf. they sell like 5 items.

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:50:02 +0000

I worked for Whole Foods in Dallas for 3 years…you think you hate them! Try working with all those left over hippies and “happy people” all day. It’s enough to make you quit. So I did!

By: keri

keri — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:10:25 +0000

one more reason to hate:
http://tinyurl.com/oofmpf

a quote from the CEO: “While all of us empathize with those who are sick, how can we say that all people have more of an intrinsic right to health care than they have to food or shelter?”

By: Ryane

Ryane — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:01:02 +0000

It is a truth universally acknowledged that asshats who shop at WF with bad cart-etiquette also have bad car-etiquette, and actually believe carob tastes like chocolate.

Just saying.

By: Keb

Keb — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:33:49 +0000

I am within walking distance of whole foods. I drive 3 miles to Safeway.

HATE HATE HATE whole foods. I’m with Jennster too.

By: sizzle

sizzle — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:43:22 +0000

“Buddha-given right” HA HA HA.

I love you.

By: The Diva's Thoughts

The Diva's Thoughts — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:13:12 +0000

You are he-larry us!!!

By: jennster

jennster — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:05:54 +0000

LMFAO- i hate whole foods because it’s totally filled with snobs who act like spending their entire paycheck there makes them SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN YOU.

By: Rebekah

Rebekah — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:55:16 +0000

I know people who will drive mile and miles past a dozen normal grocery stores in order to go to Whole Foods. In their SUVs. Wasting gas and polluting. But I’m sure their granola is better than my granola.

By: Paige Jennifer

Paige Jennifer — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:15:12 +0000

Aythefuckmen. I just shove the offending abandoned cart in a random direction. That usually gets the attention of the Prius driving, Croc sporting, fuckwit staring, mouth agape, at the vast selection of organic, wheat-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, low cholesterol (insert foul tasting “food” item here).

By the way, I refer to their bread as Birdseed Bread. Looks like someone broke up one of those birdseed bell thingies into some batter and – voila! – healthy bread! If I can squish a slice into the size of a quarter, it isn’t bread.

By: Jaime

Jaime — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:00:00 +0000

My almost 2 year old will only eat cereal these days. Breakfast, lunch and dinner and all snacks in between. All Cereal. All The Time.
I’ve tried all the WF choices, hoping to feel like a better mom for nourishing my kid so well. And though that “Im such a good mother for spending $10 on a box of shredded wheat feeling” was very nice, it was fleeting and they all ended up stale and in the garbage. WF doesn’t sell Fruit Loops, Cookie Crisp or Coco Pebbles, and that’s what does the trick. If sugar isn’t one of the first 2 ingredients, it probably won’t work around here. Hey, I grew up on the stuff and turned out OK, right? Plus, they have TOYS inside. Those marketing people know what they’re doing, and they do it well.
And I take issue with any place that doesn’t sell Splenda. How else am I to have multiple cups of sugared coffee each day and not gain 20 pounds? Splenda.

And P.S., asshaberdashery might be my new favorite word.

By: John

John — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 17:43:00 +0000

Turn On,
Tune In,
Drop Out,
Give Up,
With Me. : )

By: Jorge

Jorge — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:58:24 +0000

But tell me how you really feel!

By: elle dubya

elle dubya — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:50:12 +0000

this makes me appreciate publix all the more.

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:47:00 +0000

I couldn’t have said it better!

Thank you.

By: Tai

Tai — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:30:50 +0000

Funny, I was just shopping at Trader Joes this weekend and observed the EXACT SAME BEHAVIOR!!!! And I thought, WTF, what is it about affluent grocery stores that allows all to abandon common decency and respect?

By: Nathan Pralle

Nathan Pralle — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:06:33 +0000

We have not a WF in the hinterlands of Iowa, although I have heard many times of their praises, so to speak. However, we do have a fair whack of co-ops in the tri-state area and I can vouch for the various cretins wandering the aisles, acting as though this is their personal mecca and it’s not so much a matter of shopping as it is an act of worship.

A trip to one of these stores is very much like a stop at a touristy trinket shop. Everything in it is unique and fun to look at, but very little has practical value.

“Well, I’ve never actually *seen* a recipe that takes dried horse ears, but if I should ever happen upon one, I guess I know where to get them…”