You know I love you, right? You know advice is given from a good part of me, the part that isn’t shriveled and Grinch-like? Ok, well I have something we need to discuss. On behalf of 6’2” women everywhere, not to mention their slightly shorter yet equally adorable friends, it is never, ever acceptable to comment on a woman’s height.
To state the obvious, when encountering a little person in the nectar section of the Whole Foods, would you ever say, “Well hello there, midget! Aren’t you just the most delightful tiny creature? Look, Bob, get my picture with it!” No, you wouldn’t, because you are a decent human being, and if you would, it’s time to take down your Match profile and board up your front door.
Let’s get down to specifics. When you encounter a 6’2” woman at a bar, restaurant, car dealership, or on the open road, it is never appropriate to do any of the following:
Make hand gestures reflecting her height. We get it, Einstein. Daddy understands the metric system.
Ask if she’s played any professional sport in which height would put her at an advantage (see basketball, volleyball, soft core porn). Gauche, people.
Comment on her wearing heels. No one mentions your boxers being too big.
Flat out bark, “Wow. You’re tall.” Seriously? Pick that about which you are most self-conscious and imagine strangers pointing it out to you on a regular basis. This includes, but is not limited to:
Your large ass
The hairy mole on your eyelid
The awfully crooked teeth your parents didn’t love you enough to fix
Your one big breast
Those bat wings
Your complete inability to adhere to all well-established social norms and increased likelihood of spending your life alone, possibly in my man pit, without access to Wife Swap or Hot Pockets.
I trust we understand one another.
43 Comments
the same goes for those of us who are 5′2,..
“Aww you’re so tiny and cute!”
just makes me want to climb in a chair and claw their eyes out.
after i ask them to hand me what i needed off the shelf. ; }
Yeah, it’s ridiculous that some people think that it’s acceptable to comment on people’s bodies, as if they’re open fodder for conversation.
People are just plain stupid sometimes. I’m average height, so that’s not an issue, but people have actually said, “Wow, you’re really NOT a bitch” or something similiar to my face. WTF does THAT mean?
Ha – love it. I am on the taller side of life, not quite 6′2″ though my cousin is. Also, we run big in our family – like linebacker big. I’ve had people tell me I’m built like a brick wall – that’s flattering and wonderful for the self-esteem. Anyway, my cousin and I went to meet a friend and her sister at a local pub and upon entering the friends sister (who is petite like a tiny Irish Fairy) yells “Mah Gawd, yer the largest womon I’ve seen in me life!” Yeah, that was special. Not enough Guiness in the world to drown that.
Don’t discourage folks too much from refraining from this sort of commentary; after all, it makes it easier for you and me to separate the truly interesting from the truly deplorable.
Funny! My cousin and I were just having this conversation at the Britney concert Sunday night. As a tall person you get to the point where you just kind of ignore people. It’s really a daily thing.
We’re both over 6′2″ and in the mass of people I caught the woman standing right next to me whispering in her daughter’s ear. Next thing I know they are both looking at my feet so I thought it was appropriate to say something to them. Yes, I am wearing heels… but yes, I am tall. And so is the girl standing next to me. Deal with it.
My other favorite was when I was in South Beach last weekend and on the way back to the bathroom I hear “Damn, that’s a big ass woman!” Um, Thank you?
Just cause we are taller doesn’t mean we can’t here you. Seriously.
(Sorry – you kind of hit a nerve.)
As a very tall woman, I know how that feels and it drives me nuts!
Why is it ok to ask me openly how tall I am and how much I weigh, yet it’s not ok to do the same to my much shorter and portly coworkers?
OMFG – thank you. I AM 6′2″. And at 29 yrs old, I have yet to find an uninsulting way (I tend to lean to the side of sarcasm)to respond to the inane ‘Wow, you’re tall!!’ statement. Not to mention the ‘you must play basketball’ comments. No, no I don’t. I mean, I’m not going to respond with ‘Wow – you’re short, you must be a jockey!’, am I? No, because I am not that insensitive and rude and just plain stupid. It kills me that people feel that it is ok to comment on a woman’s height like it’s some sort of abnormality (whether she’s taller or shorter than average). You don’t ask her how much she weighs, why would you bring up any other physical feature like that?? People need filters. And I need a drink.
You’re 6′2″? I am hot for tall women. Uh oh. Did I just do what you just said not to do? I could not go up to you in a bar and say “I think you are gorgeous.” even though your height may have contributed to that observation? I said “contributed”, not the only reason I would think you are gorgeous. And your are gorgeous… at least from the last picture you posted a hundred years ago.
Peace
Aww, dawg! I love you. You’re like the mom of a special needs kid who attacks anyone who stares or whispers. I love it. Thank you for writing this. And for the record, I wore heels last night and got a lot of looks, but no comments. That hasn’t happened in years! Maybe times are a changin’ – Thanks, Obama! xo
If it’s one thing I’ve discovered in my dating endeavors, it’s that men are idiots.
Two weeks ago, one had the nerve to tell me that he thought the chucks sneakers I wore “bugged him.”
I just cracked up reading your post. I am a 6′ woman and people have said some of the dumbest things to me over the years. One of my favorites was when I was at a wedding for a family friend and her father came up to me and said,”I was just sitting over there and I can’t believe how huge you are”. Seriously, you never call a woman “huge”.
And yes, I can dunk!
I chuckled at ciaobella’s comment re: the jockey.
I’m 5′2″ and get short comments/jokes all the time. A friend of mine is 6′2″ and whenever we’d go out together, people would make “Twins” references. Like we didn’t know there was a 12″ difference in our height.
I’ve concluded that people who point out the obvious have nothing better to talk about.
Preach it, sista!
Indeed. I am not that tall, though a little tall for a woman, and I would never dream of uttering any of those. Then again, I have three female cousins over 5′11″ who are awesome so I guess that colors my thinking the right way.
On behalf of 5′11 women everywhere, thank you.
I dream of responding “Wow! You’re ugly!” or “Wow! You’re short!” whenever people say, “Wow! You’re tall.”
Thank you again.
You tell ‘em, Shorty.
I kid! Don’t point out the long, coarse hairs on my chin, okay?
It’s also never acceptable to comment on a woman being pregnant unless you see a baby emerging from her at that very moment. I am assuming because I am a skinny chick with a little belly, it must mean I am preggo and not just fat. If you can’t tell, don’t ask. Losers.
Thanks, Kris, for your post, and welcome to my life! I’m 5′10 (although my doctor and chiropractor will now say I’m 5′9 and 3/4″ because I’m probably shrinking due to adjustments and age). I’ve heard the tall comments my whole life, including the question about playing professional basketball which I joined then hated in high school for many reasons, not the least of which was being typecast. Additionally, my ex-husband hated when I wore heels and I developed a complex because of it. And lastly, the fact that I catch myself walking stooped over because of my height and have to correct my posture constantly. I’ve experienced several of these fine height-related moments myself.
My left boob is actually smaller than my right one. Yeah. I’m sensitive about it. THANKS FOR MAKING IT AWKWARD!
;-)
Somewhere, the Statue of Liberty is smiling.
In her heels.
The Tall Wife completely agrees with you btw. Except when I do my Godzilla impression.
Same here from the other end of the spectrum. I’m 4′11″, and people think it’s okay to pat me on the head (I’m 35.) and ask what size shoe I wear (Three from the girl’s section, which means my tennis shoes are half the price; on the other hand, it’s almost impossible to find sandals that don’t have Dora the Explorer on them.).
Ridiculous.
Same goes for guys. I know I’m 6′3″, I do NOT need you point it out. Yes, I played basketball, no I don’t wanna talk about it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten, “Wow, you’re tall” from guys and girls alike. While I’m here, where do all the tall chicks hang out? I need a girl I can make out with while not bending over backwards. You understand, right?
I agree, it would be annoying. I’ve heard the comments directed at others, and it always makes me grimace. Though, from a completely average in every way girl…. It would be nice to have a feature that is unique enough that people would feel the need to comment.
This problem will work itself out with time and you will beg for the day when men gave you attention.
dc tall girls convention please?? 6′1″ here.
I’m a 5′11 lady and I love it when people are like, “wow, you’re tall!” But I understand not wanting people to say it if you’re sensitive to it. And probably at 6′2 you get it a bit more than I do anyway! Good luck :)
Sorry. I agree with “heather” – we short girls feel for you. Captain Obvious comes all the time.
Wait, how did I miss that you are 6′2″, I was sure you were closer to my height. Maybe I lost my mind. Still, agree with every single point raised here. Every single one.
My cousin gets the “How’s the weather up there?” line with great regularity. So clever *and* original.
ditto “wow, your feet don’t LOOK that big – are you sure they are size 12?”
lol! that’s so funny. i do sometimes THINK “wow, she’s tall!” but i never say it. probably b/c i’m 5′1″ and sooooo tired of people telling me how tiny i am. i’m 30, head a blood bank, and just yesterday learned that one of our weekly outpatients refers to me as “the little one”. not humiliating at all. :p least you can reach the tall shelves at the grocery store.
I was seriously JUST thinking about this. Like an hour ago.
From time to time I notice a woman who is taller than me and think, “wow, she’s tall.” Then I realize that I am 5′ 11″ and probably people think this about me all the time.
I don’t know about this one entirely… I mean, there is definitely rude and annoying commenting on height, but I’m pretty tall (not 6′2″, though) and I don’t mind when people ask how tall I am (I would DEFINITELY mind if someone said “YOU’RE HUGE!”). And when I see women go by who are significantly taller than I am, I certainly notice.
I would not worry about it- most guys have a thing for tall women.
I have a friend who’s 4′11″, and people PICK HER UP all the time. I mean, literally pick her up like she’s a child. ACK.
“The awfully crooked teeth your parents didn’t love you enough to fix.”
Hey, my parents were simply too poor to fix them! Jeez, you’re going to give me a complex, now!
I didn’t realize you were 6-2. I’m 5-11, so now I love you even more because then you feel my pain when it comes to finding pants that are long enough.
I will add that to the list of things we will talks about at BlogHer over many glasses of wine.
Sing it, Sister!
As a 6 foot tall female, I get this all the freaking time! There’s a difference between admiring the height of a “statuesque” woman & complimenting her like a human being and shouting at her like she’s a circus attraction. “Hey Mike, get the camera! Take a picture of me next to this chic! She’s HUGE!!” (This actually happened to me.) Whatever happened to polite society? Manners, anyone? HONESTLY.
I’m on the other side of the spectrum as a 5′ woman. I can’t believe the comments people make to me, or even worse, when they feel the need to manhandle me. I stopped going to bars by a nearby college, since consistently some strange guy will come up behind me and pick me up! I’ve had acquaintances throw me over their shoulder and run around. There’s also the head pats and the use of my head as an arm rest.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling ornery, but don’t want to point out their pot bellies, comb overs or acne, I mention that “Yes, I’m short, and by the way, when’s the last time you cleaned out your nose, because I can see right up it.”
people make comments about my ass all the time. yes, it’s real and it does defy the laws of “big-assed” gravity.
THANK YOU.
6′1″ since I was 15 and OVER IT. And now I love you and this blog that much more. Awesome. PS? A huge shout out to all the tall chicks who commented!! Can we have a tall ladies convention? I suggest Greece where all of us can wear heels and wow all the little Euro folks.
As a guy who is also 6′2″, let me just say that tall women are sexy as all get out. Nothing I like better than being able to look a woman in the eye, which is a rare thing.
Don’t let the idiots crap on your Wheaties.
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