I’ve often wondered what happens to relationships once they pass the three-year mark. I think one feels all is intact, but in my experience, it only seems that way. Eventually, attention wanes. You slip on the things you shouldn’t, like closing drafty doors, remembering to Tivo the Ghost Whisperer, and acknowleding anniversaries that once seemed all important, prepared for days ahead of time, marked on the calendar with a red writing implement. As time passes, more and more is prefaced by an “oops.” I would have remembered, had I not been so stressed at work. Had I not had to dress myself this morning, what with society’s demand for matching colors and what not. And so it is with the four-year anniversary of this site.
If you’ll indulge me, click on the archives link on the masthead of this page. Scroll to the bottom, and watch as the months pass and pass and . . . pass. I’ve been writing for some time on these pages. Four years = forty-eight months = hundreds of posts. Hundreds. Dates and boyfriends and cat leg amputations. Three jobs. Three cars, two apartments, one softball team, 20 pounds lost and gained, trips to the Bahamas, Michigan, Colorado, California, Arizona, Utah, Missouri, Illinois, California again, and again, and once more if not thrice, not to mention Canada, Florida, Texas, Oregon, Washington state, Italy, Greece, and Croatia. Also? Two Bush presidencies. No small feat.
In four years, my father became very ill and died. Died as in is no longer here, although you’ll see him mentioned a good bit earlier on. And you were there. Do you know that after flying back from San Francisco after landing only 12 hours prior, after dropping my things in his empty room and eating Thai in slow motion, that I made sure to post so you could witness my loss? I did, and it seems strange to think of it happening any other way. It’s as if you’re supposed to be here for it all.
Four years. In four years, I began drinking red wine again. I spoke at BlogHer in Chicago, and many of you were there, not only to support me but to witness an awful, humid hair day. Remember cute neighbor boy? Neither do I. Quitting smoking at least once? Confessing to a love for Celine, admitting to the possibility that I’d consider carnal knowledge of The Colonel? Wishing I was a real writer. Wishing someone of another gender would accept me for who I am. Making some mistakes that prompt me to shake my head with a smile and others that have me curled up couchside for days. Going to Mykonos well before a honeymoon. Discovering lifelong online friendships. Finding too that melancholy catches up no matter your ability to outrun the Orange Line. Documenting the moments because they were beautiful and to be savored, every last painful or delightful morsel of each.
It’s all here. And it’s increasingly difficult to comprehend the tie I have to these posts, and to you in turn. Many thanks, dear readers, for hanging in there for it all. Happy, happy, happy four years to all of us.
51 Comments
Another in a vast pool of well written, bitter sweet posts. I really liked this one, Kris. All 6′2″ of it.
You were in Colorado and failed to call me? The pain.
Peace
I hope, after four years, you know that you are very much a real writer. A fantastic writer.
Happy four years. Here’s to four more. Thanks for the memories.
I missed my four year blogiversary but could never have recapped it so eloquently as you. I’m so glad to have found you in this bloggy world (and outside of it).
xo
I’m so happy that you chose to write this blog. It is written better than many books that I’ve read (most books, even. You are truly an excellent writer & have brought happiness to the lives of your readers.
Happy 4 yrs!! *crosses fingers that there are four more, but grateful for the four that have gone by*
Happy four years! And I totally remember Cute Neighbor Boy– he walked his dog near you, and caught you smoking, braless in a tank top, outside, right?
You’re welcome. ;)
Happy Blogiversary! 4 years and I just found you! I have to get busy reading your archives.
Aren’t you always braless and smoking?
I’m happy that you’re here, and that I am lucky enough to know you. You’ve no idea what a gift you are, and how much you are loved. Happy Fourth!
Happy, happy 4 year anniversary. And for all the joy, funny, wit and emotion posted here. This place is one of my favorite reads. Toast, celebrate!
Happy 4th year anniversary!
Here’s to 4 more – I’ve just found you, but so far I think you’re writing is delightful, if a little bittersweet.
P.S. I would have been online posting too even if my father had passed away; it’s as you said, necessary.
You have always been one of my favorite writers, Miss Kris. Cheers to four years!
You’re right – a blog does contain more history of your life than you realize. That’s why I had to close out my archives.. just too much hurt and pain in those pages – even I can’t bear to go back there too often.
But what would I have ever DONE without the blog and the support I’ve gotten there? Could I have lived through it all? I have to wonder…
Wow, four years. My blog turns four in September. Loved the post.
I consider it an honor to be present for much of what has transpired on these pages. Congratulations to you in your four years, and I look forward to the inspiration of another four.
Here’s to four more wonderful years!
I only found this blog in the last two weeks and enjoy your writing so much. For a minute there, while reading your post, I was afriad you were ending it. I’m looking forward to reading this one for a long time.
Congrats on the four year mark! Looking forward to reading about more trips (*cough* Vancouver *cough*) and fewer cat leg amputations.
And, you know, I can’t open my fridge without thinking about your post about the contents of your fridge. I’m just sayin’
For four years, you apparently get either fruit and flowers (traditional) or linen, silk, and nylon (modern).
I’ll give you a nice fruity pinot with a silky finish.
Happy 4 years to you. We wouldn’t have stuck around if it wasn’t important to us, too.
Happy anniversary. We ARE supposed to be here with you.
Thank you for adding something special to my life with your writing. I mean that most sincerely, whether it’s laughing my ass off at your wit or tearing up with you about your Dad, or other things.
Happy 4yr anniversary. Yours is one of the few blogs that I have read every single word of every single post. And loved them all.
Four years of blogging is a major accomplishment! Please send blogging mojo to me…just toss it over a few fences and I will catch it!
Happy 4 year anniversary! I can’t wait to share the next four with you!
Kris, you were the first blog I discovered and loved with an envious passion. I am glad you are still here all these years later. My world would–really and truly–be emptier without you in it.
You are a REAL writer. A real talent. And definitely a real joy.
Happy anniversary! Thanks for sharing your gift.
Three isn’t the only magic number, I’d say four is pretty great, too. =-)
This was lovely, Kris. Congrats on the four year anniversary!
Happy, happy anniversary. You are, and have always been, one of the first I go to when I notice you’ve updated.
Your writing is beautiful, and it never fails to stir something within.
Thank you for continuing to share!
Happy Birthday to a website that brought forth a brilliant writer and friend to us all. I love how you bring people from the sidelines, engage wallflowers who don’t really want to be wallflowers and just generally treat all of us with what I know to be sincere love, appreciation and friendship.
My life is better because of this site and because of our friendship. And you in general. Happy birthday, wino.
I don’t really even remember when I started reading you, but it’s been a happy time, however long.
So… Happy blog birthday! (I think Blogoversary is a weird not-word.)
And many more :o)
Happy Anniversary, sorry to be late but something tells me you’ll understand. 4 years?! I am oh so impressed. Yours is the best writing on the old interwebs, congrats.
happy anniversary to a woman strong enough to survive all these situations and more with grace, dignity and a bottle of wine to help along the way.
me loves you bunches and bunches!
Isn’t a blog great for that? To have a record of it all? I go back and read my entire blog approximately once a year, and it always makes me a little bit proud. Happy 4 year anniversary!
Looking back in my comments section, about four years ago Kris, aka mama likey, stumbled into my e-world. In those four years I have also had too many dates to count but I’ve only had one boyfriend, one house, one job. I haven’t left the country. I’ve barely left the region. I’ve had no deaths. I’ve had no births.
These are the reasons I come to you. You have such a gift for working your way through all of these life changes with such grace, whether you recognize that in yourself or not.
I love you and your bloggy ways, Krisser. BTW, I’ve never asked if you mind being called Krisser but I don’t know if I could stop now. Happy 4th.
I love this. And I’m so! excited to finally meet you this July. (And it blows my mind on an almost weekly basis that I’ve had my site in action since 2004. It will be 5! years this June. CRAZY. And sort of awesome, too.)
Well Happy Anniversary! Four years is quite an accomplishment. Congrats!
With regard to your original “wonder,” I think your assessment is quite right. Many three(+)year relationships reach that plain where they’re sustainable, but unsatisfying.
Though it’s only been a year or so for me (reading your blog), your thoughts, poured out here, remain as enticing as ever. You don’t disappoint. : )
Happy 4 years – and many more. xoxo.
I’m new too, and I’m so glad you didn’t give it up. Your writing is beautiful, and I’m not surprised you’ve made lifelong friends this way, because your voice comes through so clearly.
I still love you, even. Hoping I’ll see you in Chicago. Pretty please?
Wow, happy 4th anniversary! :) You are such an amazing writer. Your blog was the second blog I ever found and read regularly without knowing the writer. Second only to dooce, so hopefully that’s not a bad thing. I don’t even have ANY CLUE how I stumbled upon you. But I read and read and read and got totally sucked in to your life and your writing style, your sarcasm and wit. I LOVE reading what you write. I read and wish I could be even half as witty or real and raw. Honestly, I considered you so untouchable and well, dooce-like. That was, at least until I started stalking you on twitter and facebook, and now – you are just that much more amazing for being real. a real person AND a real writer. Wow!
Again, happy anniversary! Here’s to many many more years! Cheers!
Happy 4th Blogiversary, you wonderfully gifted wino. :)
I’m new here and am happy for it. Happy 4!!
I have been reading your blog for years. I can say that I identify with you more than anyone. Hell, even my own friends. I wish you lived around the corner from me:-) I look forward to your posts about wine and stupid men and cats. Probably because that’s exactly what my life consists of!
Keep it up. You rock.
Jen
(formerly of Married Jen/Single Jen)
Thanks for making me laugh, cry, and think.
happy FOUR. I’m so glad you still write. You awe me every time I find a new post in my feed. I remember a time before feed readers and I think you and I were there way back then.
And here I thought you were a real writer! I’ve only been reading since Shana’s babyshower, but I absolutely love the way you write and hope you continue to grace us with more of your eloquent and deliberate story. Happy 4th!
Wow, you’ve done a lot in four years.
And, as always, you say it beautifully.
I am so glad I know you.
My 4th anniversary is April 10th – four years sounds so much longer than three. ;)
I hope that when I hit my site’s four year anniversary, I’m half as good as a writer as you, my friend.
I’m looking forward to meeting you in Chicago. We’ll be able to spot each other since we’re both tall and can see over crowds. Also, I’ll probably have red wine spilled on my clothes.
Keep on keeping on, pretty lady. I promise to keep reading.
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