There are bad Mondays, Mondays that you discover a guy you’ve been chatting with isn’t as unattached as claimed, or actually unattached at all, and then there are shitty Mondays. Shitty Mondays start out great. New grown-up work blouse with perfectly matched accessories, clear skin, enough time to shave and moisturize, blue bird on your fucking shoulder. These are the days one should know to retreat to the bunker before something goes wrong. Grab the cats and all the mac and cheese in the house and batten down the hatches, ladies.
On a really shitty Monday, you arrive at your car to see that the door is unlocked. Silly me, you chastise yourself, because obviously you must have been the asshat who left it open. Obviously, because how often do you go out to your car and find that someone has broken into it, jamming the ignition with such force that it’s undriveable? Unmovable.
Unmovable you are not, of course, and after calling the police and AAA and the your dependable repair guy, who tells you a new steering column will cost you at least 600 dollars, and your mother, who tells you you’ll need to move to the safety of the Commonwealth immediately, you dissolve into no more than 60 seconds of tears. Dry eyes, break into laughter. Because this is Thanksgiving week, after all, and there is still lots of mac and cheese in the house.
53 Comments
That sucks, man! Hope your insurance will cover it.
Also, I have to ask – how soon into this experience did you think “Well, at least it will make a good blog posting!”?
Damn! Hey! Why don’t you upgrade to a Ferrari column! I’ll cover the difference!
Peace
:(
I’m sorry!! At least your skin is clear and it’s only a 3 day week!
you got 1 up on my oily face.
Unbelievable! And I think everyone’s mom has an idea that “somewhere else” is always safer than “where you are now”. It’s a ploy to get you to move closer to her. Resist! Resist!
My poor Cookie! I have a tub of ice cream and one Miller Lite (I drank the other five) with your name all over them.
Oh, NO! I am so sorry that happened to you. I am sending you some of the mac and cheese I made last night, which has turkey-shaped noodles (really) and garlic cheddar cheese.
Kris,
Sorry bout this. Super suckage. This sort of thing is not only frustrating and expensive, it’s a huge violation. If you have comprehensive coverage on your insurance policy (theft, fire, and vandalism) then yes: your insurance company will cover the cost of damages minus your deductible. I hope you have the coverage!
Happy Thanksgiving week to you as well.
Peace,
A
Well, that really blows. Sorry you have to deal with it. (And don’t move to the Commonwealth.)
Nooooooooo! Ugh how awful. Of course you just have to laugh because seriously, it’s so fucked up.
NOOOOOOOOOO. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. My car was stolen twice in a month, and while the first time I panicked and cried, the second time I just laughed. Because… seriously, people? Seriously, universe?
I hope that your insurance will cover it. Poor Kris. :(
Ouch! F-in’ idiots!
What kind of an armoured car do you drive that someone couldn’t steal? That alone is impressive!
“blue bird on your fucking shoulder” I laughed so loud at that one that my office neighbor came over to check on me to see if I was OK. Golden.
BTW, sorry you’re having the shitty Monday.
I’m sorry that I was unable to get your car started and drive away with it.
The good news is that I’m quitting car-stealing for something more lucrative, like day trading.
I hope there’s enough Mac n’ Cheese for both of us. I’ll bring the wine.
the blue bird should have been the dead give away to do an about face and climb back under the covers. unfortunately that wouldn’t have prevented that douchebag from jamming your ignition. excuse me – that idiot douchebag who’s not even a good enough thief to do the job right and outright steal it so you could get a whole NEW car.
If you are going to move to VA, let me know. I’m looking for a place in DC. Bonus – if you are near the Metro.
That blows! I thought my Monday was bad last week and that was only because the bus broke down and no one at work talked to me.
This happened to me recently, though without the massive steering column damage, but plus one missing very expensive handbag. Suckage.
Oh my lord. What a huge pain. I guess it’s lucky that the car wasn’t stolen… right? But I recommend that you tell the bright side to STFU and go back to your tub of mac and cheese…
UGH. On the upside, you made me feel less shitty about MY shitty Monday…
Can I have a fork for the mac ‘n cheese?
Ouch. I hate that for you. Hope you have a box of wine to go with that mac and cheese.
Oh no! Having ones car broken into is definitely NOT something to be thankful for, even Pollyanna would agree. I’m in a terrible mood today for no good reason at all.
Dude. NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Man that sucks…so sorry!
I’m sorry! That totally sucks.
I guess you can take solace in the fact that if this person isn’t bright enough to steal a car properly, their future probably involves printing license plates for legitimately owned cars while subsisting on prison-grade mac’ n cheese. That or a lot of public bus rides. I’m not sure which is worse.
What Beth said. I’m having the sucky Monday, not the shitty one, thankfully.
Damn, that stinks! Sorry and hope your holiday is good at least!
Oh – I’m so sorry Kris! We had many experiences like that when we lived on Capitol Hill. Of course, I was a teenager – so I didn’t get too bothered by anything… Don’t move to the Commonwealth! It’s very hard to move back once VA has you in its clutches.
The first time (but not the last- I lived in a sketchy neighborhood for a bit) my car got broken into, I was hysterical. The cost of repairing the window alone was more than my rent payment!! It totally sucks. Sorry! I’ll send good thoughts your way.
The hits just keep coming, that’s for sure… :(
You’ve been violated!
UGH, that stinks!
I think the Boomtown Rats did a song about this.
Wish I could remember it’s title.
It’ll get better. Especially when covered in gravy and watching the Lions stink up the game on Thursday.
Dude. That sucks so bad. I’m sorry.
Oh NO! I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Sending you tons of hugs, and hoping that karma kick’s that asshole’s butt!!!
Sorry to hear this! Hopefully, the week gets better. Karma will totally get the guy, don’t worry.
Sorry to hear you had a rough Monday! I hope the rest of the week is much better for you.
that is sucktastic! So sorry! (My car’s passenger lock has been jammed & disfigured, but I figure that the would-be thieves saw the sticker stating that the car was protected by a Hyundai security system & got scared off. Or they realized it was a Hyundai & decided it wasn’t worth it.)
Happy Turkey Day.
I’m very sorry about your car. Not that it is in any way my business, but have you considered not having a car and using the Flexcar thing? It might save you some money.
And, not that this is going to make you feel any bettter, but I once dated a guy – actually dated, not just chatted with – for six months before I found out he was married and a recovering alcoholic.
Hopefully the week will keep getting better…
K! I am sending you good thoughts. I know, F good thoughts, but I’m doing so anyway. =-/
Ugh. Awful. Sorry.
Hope the mac and cheese did the trick. If not, there’s always turkey and the calm bosom of family to look forward to.
I’m going hunt down that dude and take him down. Down, I say.
I put a Fed Ex envelope in the MAIL box by mistake, thought that would rank your Monday worse than mine. Only later did I then realize that yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my little sister’s death.
That super sucks. I’m sorry. Don’t flee for the Commonwealth, though. I’m there and can’t wait to move back in to DC, endless car troubles or no.
Duude, that is such a craptastic story. Don’t move to VA, though. It’s not worth it. Not even for safety. Hope the mac and cheese and holiday are marvelous!
awww that sucks. My car got keyed in front of my house 2 weeks ago, so I sort of know the feeling. 17th and Compton yeahhhhh.
i’m SO sorry. the district is becoming more and more desirable, no? that’s part of the “charm” of living in the city! VA is overrated and according to the news, really not so great. i mean someone got shot at TYSON’S CORNER for cryin’ out loud….
i wish you a winning lottery ticket (to cover those repairs), a belly full of delicious, carb-rich foods, and a better monday next week. :-)
Ugh. Having your space invaded is the worst, not to mention the damn extra expense of having it fixed.
A friend of mine once had her car broken into and the only thing taken was a 12-pack of SPRITE.
Hope your mac & cheese is extra cheesy. An excess of cheese always makes me feel better!
Bastards! I hope they get attacked by wild dogs.
The more I think about this, the more I think it’s a conspiracy.
Maybe the asshat who chatted you up while he was fully engaged with another woman broke into your car so you couldn’t drive over to the reception hall and leave a note that only she would find explaining what an asshat he is.
Or a chat transcript would probably do as well.
Obviously, I’m just making this stuff up in my head. I really need to remember to take my meds.
awww, lady, i’m so sorry!!!!
Why am I just now reading this? I’ve had my car stolen without knowing it. The cops called to tell me that my shiny Camaro (shut up!) was found dead on the bad side of town.
I hope everything has worked out since then!
Hope this post-Thanksgiving Monday was better than the last! At least now that we’re headed into the holidays there’s not only mac and cheese, but candies, cookies and hot chocolate to help you through those shitty Mondays.
You know, I don’t mean to get all Jewish mother on your cute little ass but when I walked back from the train station to your abode, I clutched my purse a little tighter. Isn’t this the second car break in? I vividly recall a makeshift window on the Sentra….? Please sweetie, move. Listen to your mama.