This

Few things ache more than this, than him choosing a different path. Few things hurt more than catching his movements out of the corner of your eye, watching him pause, and knowing he’ll make another choice. That he’ll find an easier conversation, a more suitable old friend or the bartender, something other than you. And not knowing why. Because you want so much for him to come to you, to be drawn to you, the way you know it can be. The way others have before. The way you watch other couples do, with their knowing glances and their simple understanding that their connection is indestructible. And you don’t have that, not like you once did. It’s nowhere close. You can’t reach it, and it wouldn’t matter if you could, because he doesn’t want to.

15 Comments

  1. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    Before everyone starts sending me Match.com subscriptions and pints of Ben & Jerry’s, this is about feelings past. I’m not committing myself. Cheers!

  2. mysterygirl!
    Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    Aw, man. You were really going to like that Real Doll that I designed to look like Peter Sarsgaard.

  3. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    This gave me chills. Sending “virtural” ben and jerry’s!

  4. TrappedInColorado
    Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    Wow. This was intense for such a short piece. I was actually moved. Maybe because I am single and am out in that environment. Of course, I do not wait for a lady to come up to me but I do wait for her to look in my direction, catch my eye and, perchance, to smile thus making the walk over less like a tight rope walk with spotlights. Would a virtual hug help?

    Peace

  5. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    You think to much. Sometimes men just really, really have to go potty.

  6. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    That’s too btw. I’m not awake yet and apparently have now lost the ability to dress myself properly. Mea culpa.

    It’s not you. It’s his asshattery.

  7. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    A hug for feelings long since over.

  8. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    Indifference may be worse than rejection. Though it’s all the same I suppose.

  9. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    I know this feeling, and you framed it so perfectly.

  10. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    You have such a way with words. That’s why I choose the path to you . . . over and over again.

  11. Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    Amen, sister. Pour me another.

  12. Linda
    Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of “The Dump”, and as the Dumpee, I’m 90%sure that I will see *said asshat* in the same sort of situation this weekend. It will be insanely difficult, since I haven’t even had even as much of a glimpse of him in 10 months. Argh. Happy 4th everyone:- )

  13. KB
    Posted 07.02.08 | Permalink

    It never ceases to amaze me when guys pick others/different paths over my wonderful friends, especially you. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to hang out with you all the time, over everyone else!! You’re great. I am excited to see you, and it’s still over a week away!

    I’m sorry, sweetie. He doesn’t know what he’s missing, truly. <3

  14. Posted 07.03.08 | Permalink

    I love the way you write, and I know that I’ve felt this way before!

  15. Posted 07.03.08 | Permalink

    aw man. these are the moments that i find myself in (all too often?), ending up with (empty) wine bottle bedside, with my cat (ie, number one (only?) man) by my side.

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