I do hope this post finds you well. And still single.
I must say that it was unexpected, shocking, and fully infuriating to hear from a reader last week that my words were being used elsewhere. I shouldn’t be too strong; I remember writing as a child and thinking it must be somehow satisfying for authors to have their words lifted – however blatantly – without notation, and used elsewhere, maybe in books of note or college term papers (“Barbie: Friend or Faux?”) or inspirational commencement speeches given by B-List congressmen. Turns out it isn’t. It isn’t fun or rewarding or remotely amusing.
I will also say that at no time in my childhood dreams of publishing and eventual fame did I ever think someone would steal my words for use in her Craigslist personals ad.
I do hope the irony of so much of this is not lost on you.
Number 1) In placing a personals ad, rather than be yourself, rather than take the opportunity to display your own insecure and possibly bumbling personality to prospective suitors, you chose to display mine? You do know that the very intent of these barbaric displays of the self is to bring you face to face with a man, right? Who I’m assuming will get to know you and not the unshowered DC 30-something in nerdy glasses and her baseball shirt who wrote the words that first caught his attention? I’m sorry, hon, but can your personality really be that bad? I thought that was only the guys I dated.
Number 2) You are aware that you stole the words of a single woman, one who has little more than $7.99 bottles of wine and celery in her fridge, who worries with some regularity that her mother will find her vibrator if she dies, who talks about her three-legged cat more than the sexual intercourse, right? You know you stole that woman’s words in an attempt to find your lifelong love? Aim high, they say.
I do wonder if you were going to hire me to go on your dates with you. Maybe I could text in witty retorts for you to employ over expensive wine and more than celery? Do contact me for rates.
32 Comments
I bet Chicago Word Pilferer was a guy.
But if she winds up married as a result of that add, you’re going to need a nose job Cyrano.
Please don’t think all people in Chicago are huge asshats like this.
I am quite lovely.
I understand your anger. I also understand HER plagiarism. If you’re gonna steal, steal from the best. : ) Happy Fourth Luv.
Please do share the link for her personals ad!
My only question is: How did you find out about it?
And, yes. Do give us the link.
Peace
Um, WOW.
Some people really scrape the bottom of the clever barrel, huh.
Though I second John re: stealing from the best. Maybe after you’re done pointing and laughing you can feel flattered. Or just drink until you feel it, whatever.
Liiiiiink! Liiiiink! I’m not gonna lie… I want to respond to her posting.
Link!!
You had me at $7.99 wine. Come to me, delicious DC 30-something in nerdy glasses!
Omg, now you have me worried that my mom will find my vibrator if I die.
Also: LINK PLEASE!!
Looking for love on Craigslist is both a truly horrific idea AND an excellent name for a country song.
Fail. Win!
Link, please.
This is one of those stories that sound a like the premise of bad but beloved movie, possibly starring Katherine Heigl, although if Janine Garofalo was still doing roles as the quiry, unlikely, yet smart and sassy heroine, I’d pick her to play you.
Cleaning up my stash PRONTO. Yikes.
Link, please!
It’s kinda like Roxanne, except Kris is wayyyy better looking than Charlie. And her nose is wayyyy smaller.
Alas, the link has expired, party people. We can no longer gawk and create fake logins with which to respond.
In other news, this made my day: http://www.onehorseshy.com/highbrow/bad_grammar_makes_me_sic?p=onehorseshy.46737914
(Thanks T, for doing something right once in a while.)
Happy holiday weekend, y’all.
I’m shocked to discover you don’t have a vibrator buddy.
Find a friend to make a pact with. If something happens to either of you, the other one sneaks into your apartment & disposes of all things potentially embarrassing.
Kris,
You just know that you are quoteable! Forgive her bumbling attempt (if she emails to apologise-she really should have asked you- I think you would have been flattered rather than miffed) some folks learn the Hard way tht being an Adult is not just a function of age…
Email me and I’ll be you’re Vibrator buddy, we’ll exchange keys and tell each other the loation of the Stash to dispose of. Mine is in the ….wait, I’m still posting!
that’s location…
Yikes. That’s just wrong. I’ll bet she got a lot of responses, though. You’re a pistol, and those CL guys like a dame with spark.
Someone once posted a CL ad using my photos. A friend saw and alerted me but it had expired before I could get to it. I’ve no idea if the photos were even cute ones, and that (sadly) is what troubles me the most.
Oh, and there should totally be a vibrator telephone tree. I know a few gals who would be eager to sign up for that list.
Well, on the one hand, it’s sad that she couldn’t even write her own damn personals ad. But on the other, even if imitation is a sincere form of flattery (or however that damned saying goes) forgery just blows. What a hot mess that girl is. Boo.
Well, shit, I shoulda known something was wrong when I had to fly all the way to Chicago for the date…
oh my hell
this made me laugh so hard
Seriously?
w o w…
I wanna see!
Hope you had a fantastic 4th.
Ohhh I hope she reads this and fesses up with some sort of bullshit apology so we can all contribute to the virtual beat-down.
I am a lazy blog reader. Eventually I will make a link to your site from my blog because I love reading your stuff. In the meantime I am amusing myself by repeatly getting here from my usual link, where it says “UPDATE YOUR LINKS, YOU EIGHTIES….” something or other - I’m not a speed reader, okay? Anyway I think that it’s hilarious, and you are correct - at least about me. It’s like a subliminal message that keeps flashing before my eyes every time I visit your blog. But I’m not willing to succumb to it yet. Since I know it’s there, I just can’t resist going back to see what the rest of it says, so you’ll be getting a lot more hits from me in the next few minutes. Or maybe for the next few days…however long it takes!
…your eighties WARDROBE! That’s really funny. I’m going to go try to make a link now.
That is TOO funny and so crazy! Hope you had a Happy 4th of July, and I can definitely understand being angry, aggravated or upset!
This must’ve been the same person who copied my real estate listing from Craig’s list. WORD FOR WORD. I know some people aren’t very creative and I’ve been told it is a form of flattery but I was SO mad when I saw their ad I wrote a scathing reply. I felt much better and they removed my copy :)
Kris, I want to be your friend. I think my penchant for tripping over things and your nerdy glasses would make a dynamic duo. We’d be like superheroes. Only with cheap wine and a lackluster wardrobe. P.S. freckledk? Totally start that vibrator buddy phone tree. And sign me up.
I hadn’t read your blog in a while and thought I would do some catching up and then I see this post… wow. I’m glad you found out about it though and I love your response. :)
It scares me to think that someone was reviewing the Craigslist personal ads period.
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[...] Dear Chicago word pilferer, I hope you’re still single. An open letter to the woman who cut and pasted a local blogger’s writing into her own personals ad. Not A Girl, Not Yet a Wino. [...]