My friend Kim is in town for several weeks. It’s been wonderful spending time with her. She’s a kindred spirit, that one, a lover of true crime and travel bug who actually had the gumption to finish the PhD. Like yours truly, Kim is a few parts nerd. She decorates for Halloween starting on Labor Day and wears holiday-themed socks. She also has pictures of at least one of her animals with the PetsMart Santa and may or may not worship Suze Orman like it’s her job. Kim is more restrained than I, but now and again she lets crazy out for the night. This has at least once involved my poised academic barking for a Marlboro Light from beneath a clown afro.
Walking through the corner store on Friday, she asked, “Do you read much anymore, Kris?”
If you count the nutritional information on the back of frozen meals, quite a bit then, yes.
“No. Unless it’s for book club or just a blog post. I can’t pay attention for that long.”
“I thought that was the case. I read an amazing book recently that you should read.”
Oh here we go again, I thought. Another LDS trying to stuff the Secret down my gullet. I don’t do horizontal stripes or Scientology, hippie freaks. I nodded and put a box of Carr’s crackers into the basket.
“It was Slash’s autobiography,” she said, “all about sex and drugs and his road to redemption. You know Slash, of course. From Guns ‘n Roses.”
There are many things I would have expected more to come out of her mouth. Things like I’m actually that creepy pregnant man or While you were out, I ate Cricket with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, fft thtt thtt thtt thtt thtt! But this? This was not remotely on the topic radar. Like me losing weight or planning my wedding.
“Six-hundred plus pages and I seriously could not put it down,” she said convincingly. “And when I finished it?” she paused. “It was kind of strange. But I really missed him.”
Halloween socks, indeed.
21 Comments
I have never read a better indirect book review. I shall RUN to Borders today. I want to miss Slash too..:)
My attention span has so short that reading blogs is sometimes too much. I’ll have to give Slash a try!
That is too funny. Even funnier is that a friend just told me to read the Secret the other day and when I called it bullshit, she got mad and isn’t speaking to me.
I told myself I’d read on my vacation. I am ashamed to admit I bought Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” because I vaguely recalled hearing wonderful things about it everywhere, and I also thought maybe just MAYBE I would give that hippie shit a chance.
About two chapters in I almost vomited in my mouth and gave up. I’m sorry, but no. Just…NO. So I went to the Wal-Mart (it was all they had up there in the boonies) and bought a book about a little Amish girl who aborts her baby and sees dead people. It was alright.
I like reading your blog and blogs period. The journey of a newlywed wife and the daily struggles of her NFL husband as he tries to establish his career sounds like entertainment. I love reading blogs and this is a good one http://www.hisdreammyreality.blogspot.com
Slash wrote a book? Shouldn’t you have to read one before you’re allowed to write one?
And when did the LDS get a book? I thought they just used Osmond music to convert the pagan masses.
Books have a tendency to do that, surprise you delightfully. Get in the Van by Henry Rollins describes him going from a fan of Black Flag to it’s lead singer overnight. A Good Read.
Hilarious. I’ve been reading book after book this summer and was excited for a recommendation. 600 pages, really?
I love holiday themed socks! My Mom sends them. I only where them inside the house. Or on walks with pup.
hahahahaha. You know what is even scarier?? My brother said the same thing to me about reading Nikki Sixx’s book about sex, drugs and RnR!!
It shouldn’t be too surprising. I mean, biographies/autobiographies of these rockers can’t possibly be written for their illiterate fans. They’re written for nerds who find the musicians’ lives–not the least bit appealing–but fascinating because they’re so different from their own.
And, by the way, reading blog posts totally counts as “reading.”
Slash’s book is hit-or-miss, in my opinion. It isn’t that it’s bad, but how much sex-drugs-and -rock-and-roll can you put in six hundred pages? A lot. And just like college, it does in fact start to sound the same.
Take me down to Paradise City
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty…
TAKE. ME. HOME.
Yayeeyeaah.
I used to read books, but I had to give that up because I couldn’t ever stop reading once I started. So I switched to magazines, but then I discovered blogs. They don’t take up nearly as much room as the 23 New Yorkers that I’ve yet to finish reading. So now instead of reading books, I read about people reading books.
This post has inspired me to look more for the quirks that make my friends unique. Maybe that sounds cheesy. But do I know anyone who wears holiday socks?
I have no idea. And I feel not like I ought to know these things.
Well well. I think I just found a new favorite blog. Brilliant. Funny. I could picture you placing those crackers in your basket, so to speak.
Hmm…perfect timing. Just as I was looking for reading recommendation for another weekend at friends’ country house. It’s either a good, thick book or listening to the other guests talk about their babies and pregnancies. And you just know 2 hours into that, I’d grab them and attempt to throw them in the well.
Pretty sure I’m heading directly over to Amazon.com to buy the book. Slash should send you a thank you note. Covered in sweat, of course.
Isn’t Slash too busy putting together animation sequences for “Guitar Hero” to write? I’d check the authenticity….
I pretty much just stick to my weekly US magazine.
Me thinks I will be reading the Slash biography next. Thank you and your friend Kris.
I like your blog and plan to be back!
Thanks for your article, Now there is more reason to comment than ever before! This is a great fir for our project!