Marlboro and I had breakup sex last night. Pinot Grigio invited us both to her place and before I knew it there he was. I’m not going to lie; it was good to be close to him, his lean body, his sweet smell. Things were comfortable and there’s something to be said for familiarity. Cheap, [...]
Monthly Archives: June 2008
Preachy keen
06.26.08 –
I know a girl going through a breakup. It’s a break, really, but regardless of the official terminology, it clearly hurts like a breakup. Thoughts of never being with that person again are incredibly painful, like someone setting your hair on fire. Or an iron rod being rammed through your skull. Or Keebler elves shaving [...]
Please, sir, may I have another?
06.24.08 –
Day 1
Quitting smoking? Quitting smoking. It’s gotten to be too much, too often, too needed. I’m energized, I’m feeling good, I’m dreading it.
Day 1, morning 1. A woman in front of me at McDonald’s pays for her breakfast with dimes. DIMES. I contemplate impaling her on my Diet Coke straw but decide that wouldn’t be [...]
Considering breaking a bottle of champagne against the monitor, but I might just drink it instead
06.23.08 –
I picture that one day when I have a place of my own, one that fits me and has the colors and furniture to suit me, that I’ll want to linger in every corner. I’ll lie in the middle of the bed and marvel at shades of taupe, pinch myself that the bedside lamps are [...]
Crybabies
06.22.08 –
NBC has a new show that smacks of an after-school special, one gloriously broadcast at night so adults are home to laugh at its idiocy. This one has an interesting premise: from what I can tell, they take teen couples who are getting it on and make them take care of babies. From the promos, [...]
Girls Gone Child
06.18.08 –
I’ve often wondered what boys talk about at sleepovers, whether it’s about girls or football or embarrassing Chemistry class erections. I know what girls talk about, and can vouch for the fact that it doesn’t change much from the time you’re using a Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag to the age at which you slip into [...]
sleep study
06.17.08 –
If you caught 60 Minutes Sunday night, you spent one half hour of your life learning much of what you already knew about sleep deprivation: it can impair your memory, your driving prowess, and your ability to be asked inane questions without choking Leslie Stahl. But guess what else? When a male fruit fly is [...]
Ewe
06.15.08 –
I want so badly for you to be here, to sit in your recliner and tell me to drop it, whatever it is that consumes me and brings on the drama I hate. I want you to take forever to pull up the channel listing, methodically considering each button push and its outcome, while the [...]
