Don’t leave your apartment at 8:53 am with only a screwdriver and your new license plates.
When leaving said apartment, try to wear something other than yoga pants and a white tee shirt. Like a bra and underwear.
When you realize you’ve locked yourself out and have only a car key, don’t berate yourself for not [...]
I’m tired of living the anti-healthy lifestyle. For all intents and purposes, my picture should be on the FDA Web page devoted to How Not to Treat What God Gave Ya, the one that would pair me with some uberradiant Kris antithesis like Ashley Judd or Denise Austin. She’d be demonstrating how to make popsicles [...]
I’m waiting for perfection. I have a new spring Coach that has been sitting in the bag for weeks as I’m waiting for the perfect day for its debut. Today is the perfect day, of course, with a cloudless sky and a high of 80 breezy degrees, but my outfit just won’t do. I’m also [...]
I’m a woman who talks a good game. I probe acquaintances for specifics of their sex lives, I request details of every gross surgery or open wound, and I’ll approach complete strangers to ask them where they got their highlights. But last night at the MAC store, I simply refused to ask the saleswoman for [...]
I’m not going to BlogHer this summer. I decided this based on a variety of factors, not the least of which was the fact that I’m not speaking this year and therefore would have to pay for the conference, which would minimize the disposable income I generally reserve for Laffy Taffy and Bonne Bell Lip [...]
Well, there are several reasons for both, but not a one of ‘em is growing off of my cat’s bum! They don’t think it’s more c-a-n-c-e-r! Not to be said above a whisper! Until now!
Tonight’s vet exam was quite thorough. There was palpating and prodding and yes, there was gooey clear lube, and quite [...]
Because when you think that you can’t take anymore, that your body might implode because this! 2008! it can’t get any crappier four months in, what with your father dying and all the other left of happy that has chosen to dump itself in your lap, you find out that it can indeed get worse. [...]
The redesign is imminent. If I could have a boner, I would, as crass as it is. But if you’ve been reading for a while you knew that already. I need sleek, I need simple, I long for clean, sharp lines. More white space and simplicity. It’s my bias. But what would you like to [...]
