Kris: Women in this restaurant are staring at me funny. Do I look like a hooker or something?
Mom: Not since you learned how to style your new haircut right.
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33 Comments
My mother had this quip of her own this weekend. Let me set it up like this…
We’re getting in the car at Target on the way to a friends wedding, and a girl says something to my mother just as we were getting into the car – she then leans in and said “They said they liked my outfit, but said nothing about yours…”
Neat.
Didn’t realize we were in a competition but thanks for playin’ anyway beotche.
HHAHAHA!! Ok that was just too funny. Sometimes mom’s just say anything out of their mouths.
Aw… don’t you love it when you mom says something sarcastic completely out of the blue like that? Right when you least expect and don’t have a good comeback!
LOVE IT! Mothers have such a way with words.
Heh. Moms. They think they’re SO funny.
I would have retorted with: “Hey Mom, I’m not a virgin.” But that’s me.
Ha ha! And ouch. Your mom sounds a little challenging sometimes.
I thought “hooker hair” was just flat in the back.
Or just really big.
Good Lord.
Gotta love the honesty only a Mother will give you.
:)
I didn’t realize you had hooker hair! Did it get you many free drinks?
I love the new label of crickets! haha!
Oh those mothers!
Holy crap, that’s funny.
I could use New Jersey jokes here, but will refrain.
:)
Easy to see where you get your sense of humor.
There’s a big difference between being styled like a hooker and actually wearing the stockings.
Hooker chic is totally the new thing, Kris.
i once ordered a hooker via an add on craigslist: what arrived at the door can only be described as a heeping mound of chocolate cadbury eggs, you know, the ones that are filled with goo.
several years ago, when i had hair but didn’t blog (although i really wanted to blog, it’s just that this whole “internet” thing hadn’t been invented by my then drinking buddy al gore), that i tried to convince my mom that i was embarking on a career as a literate male prostitute. i told her that my plan was to give textual favors. out of kindness (and i think a bit of fear), she bought me a happy meal.
huggin the hamburglar,
lord f
I love that you labeled this “crickets.” Classic.
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Haha! Your mom is funny.
HA! My mom would probably be like, “Hmmmmm….wellll, you COULD wear a little less lipstick…”
love that!
my mom would probably say, “well you do like to galivant around in what people would consider lingerie.”
ahem.
as if.
Moms are the only ones who can say that stuff and get away with it.
I love it (as long as there wasn’t too much truth behind her joke). :)
Oddly enough, I called myself a hooker to my mom yesterday, saying something like, “I think I’ll take this part-time job, because I can’t imagine any other job that would pay me X dollars an hour– well, none that I could tell Grandma about.” And we just laughed and laughed about how her little girl was not going to be in any adult industries.
Sigh.
What’s wrong with looking like a hooker?
*adjusts miniskirt*
Too funny!
After a boyfriend break-up in college, my Mom (a straight laced, 2nd grade teacher) treated me to clothes shopping. In the middle of the mall, she said: “You need to show more cleavage”.
Where do they come up with these one-line shockers?
i google-image searched “hooker hair” just to see what it was, and it turns out that hooker hair = fat girls on myspace. ouch!
For thirty-some-odd years, I’ve consistently fallen for the following like Charlie Brown with the damn football:
Mother: No words, just beckoning with arms outstretched.
Me (in my head) “My mommy loves me! I really am the favorite! I knew it all along!”
Mother: Arms ALMOST in full embrace of her daughter, then it’s replaced with a vicious hair grab and “Deah lawd–that HAIR! It looks hawrable! Now your sistah on the othahand…”
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I can’t figure it out for the life of me and I wanna promote it!
please email and help?
Did your mom have The Claw before?
Scene: Bill with a screwdriver trying to fix something.
Mom: Oh my God. You’re worse than your father!
At least she didn’t call it a “mom haircut”. I actually got that. Pshhhhhh.
And I thought my Mom was the only master of the back-handed compliment…
N, can you email me with your address? Your comment didn’t have your email address with it. :)
That’s hilarious.
But it makes me wonder… since I NEVER style my hair… do I always look like a hooker?
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