a single girl’s valentine’s post

I’m betting that many of you came here today for a bitter single woman’s diatribe. Written by a girl wearing black down to her underwear, lying on the couch with her 81 cats watching chick flicks with a dozen consoling Cinnabons.

And while the majority of the above statements is true about me at most times, you aren’t going to get bitterness here today. Because truth be told: I love love.

A week-old talk segment on my lame lite radio station changed my mind about Valentine’s Day. The guest expert person encouraged those without partners to celebrate the possibilities, rather than mourn them.

Light bulbs, people. Light bulbs.

So I shall honor this icy Wednesday as a single woman welcoming the possibilities for love down the road. I simply cannot wait for the ridiculous giddiness that accompanies meeting a man you just know you’ll kiss in a matter of days. To finding out you both love that one Indian place just down at the corner, that by work experience or favorite winery or alma mater you actually could have met in your prior lives, to finding out your bodies fit just so while sleeping. I look forward to someone discovering that I unfailingly sob while watching Rudy and am the poster girl for PMS and (redeemingly) love me some college football. And ultimately, I can’t wait to call and IM and show up on doorsteps one day proclaiming that I’ve found someone I want to spend this beautiful life with. I’m smiling just writing about all of it.

And I shall also celebrate this icy Wednesday as a single woman who doesn’t have to argue with a significant other about how paying bills one day late is still late. Or how he doesn’t help with cleaning when his friends or family come to take over our space. Today, this woman doesn’t have to smile when he uses the work “backdrop” while meaning “backup” or when he refuses a shower when his hair spikes begging for shampoo or he wants to chip the ice and snow off the car with a pizza stone. And on this wonderful holiday, she doesn’t have to look at his feet.

Not a bad deal.

42 Comments

  1. Jorge
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Why does that last paragraph make me feel unworthy.

    I shall distract you by yelloing out…

    “RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!”

    *disappears in a puff of smoke*

  2. Luck o' the Irish
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Oh man, now I want Cinnabon! Gotta celebrate Singles Appreciation Day. Except this ice SUCKS.

  3. Miss Scarlet
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    I love love, too.

  4. LJ
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Great post. I agree with the idea of looking forward to having someone to share a special day with, even though I still feel anniversaries are better for that.

    Love the last paragraph. Enjoy all those, what did they call them on Sex and the City? “Single Girl Behaviors”, I think it was?

  5. Bob
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Well said. You nailed it. Makes me want to be single again. I’m definitely inspired.

  6. nardac
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Happy Valentine’s Day from the city of lightbulbs.

  7. mrs. jorge
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    I adore you, Kris. Will you and the furry ones be my valentines?

    :)

    I even had a pedicure on friday so my feet are still pretty! Cold, but pretty.

    Miss you lots.

  8. Alissa
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Great post Kris! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  9. nicalyse
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Exactly! Kudos to you for not being a jerk about a stupid holiday. And, like you, I am convinced that I will one day have the prefect Valentine.

  10. Jo
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Great post. I always had more fun on Valentine’s Day being single because my Valentines always dissapointed me. They either never did anything, or promised amazing things then showed up with a flower.

    That said, I also love love.

  11. "said" Woman
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Love is a beautiful thing and just reading that you remain open to it in spite of whatever your current situation may be, just makes me smile too! But secretly, I think it’s hilarious that the weather here is so sucky and I get to sit in my office listening to people who have been bragging all week rearrange their V-day plans. Looks like I’m not the only one stuck inside with a DVD tonight!! hehe….

  12. Wicked H
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Amen!!

  13. maliavale
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Oh, how I heart you! I look forward to those days, too, and hurrah for relishing the singledom in the meantime. Well-put, well-put indeed.

  14. Melliferous Pants
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Mother fucking, AMEN! I heart you!

  15. D.M. Carp
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Sing it, sister.

    You’ve gotta love love – but the thing is, love celebrates itself. If you don’t have a valentine, or worse, if you wish you didn’t, St. V’s day can seem like a Hallmark-branded mockery. And if you *do* happen to have somebody … somebody whose love you want to celebrate everyday … who needs heart-shaped candy?

  16. zandria
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    I like that! Sounds good to me. :)

  17. me
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Such sweet thoughts, really. I wish for you what I have: a love to celebrate with every day, not just one proscribed by the masses. I hope you find someone who keeps your car’s gas tank full, who tells your son that you’re the coolest mom ever, who thinks your total and utter crush on Ewan McGregor is adorable.

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Kris!

  18. candace
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Hmmm. That was me, up there as “me”. Odd.

  19. Chantel
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    I know, I totally dig this. I decided to change my attitude about Valentines Day too. I even bought myself a bottle of expensive perfume as a gift to me.

    P.S. I love – love too. But I can’t tell anyone; it would ruin my reputation.

  20. mysterygirl!
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Beautiful! I was just thinking today about when you kiss someone for the first time and there’s something so special about it that you can feel it through your whole body. I haven’t had a kiss like that in about two and a half years, but I’m confident that another one is in my sights… :) And I’m glad you’re confident that there’s one for you, too!

  21. t2ed
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Yeah, you have way more cats than that, right?

  22. Maethane Boy
    Posted 02.14.07 | Permalink

    Lately my love for love seems unrequited lately (even with a partner)… Great post! It is a wonderful affirmation sans the usual schmaltz.

  23. Sizzle
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    now THAT is the way to look at love.

    as always, you ring true.

  24. KB
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    Today I will pretend to be your Valentine and tell you how much I <3 you and how great you are! So glad we're friends :) Don't know what I would do without you.

    Having said that, I love love too. And, I don’t mind Valentine’s Day one bit. Especially when it includes a burlesque show. We’ll have to tell you all about that one ;)

    LOVED the card!

  25. StupendousWoman
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    Well, Happy Valentine’s Day, Kris! I only realized at about eight o’clock tonight that it was, indeed, Valentine’s Day… I guess I’m not too traumatized about being single either. ;)

  26. themikestand
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    I’m commenting today, even though I email commented yesterday. Why? Because blogger-comments don’t come up as P O R N today. (Which is both excellent and a little disappointing).

    Hope your Vday was empowering and devoid of stinky feet.

  27. kitkat
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    Excellent post. Take Valentine’s Day back! I wrote about V-Day too, and how it gets a bad rap unfairly. I like the idea of celebrating possibility. This works even for couples.

  28. Kelly
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    Loving love is a great way to live.

    It’s just so damn much fun and stuff. The passion that comes with love includes anger and happiness, and so many other wonderful feelings.

    You conveyed your sentiments wonderfully, dawlingk!

  29. Lovely Lelaina
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    I wish I had read this yesterday, when I was bitter cynical girl. Made me feel warm and fuzzy like Love Actually :)

  30. Matt
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    Now I know what SWF-PMS means.

  31. Melissavina
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    I’m thirty and yesterday was my first February 14th with an actual Valentine (that doesn’t suck, or doesn’t prefer video games to actual personal interaction), and he did not disappoint. I unwrapped my very own… gift certificate for an oil change.

    He sure knows how to get me in the mood! Nothing says “I love you” like Valvoline.

  32. Gwen
    Posted 02.15.07 | Permalink

    Ahh, the wonder of new love! I’m an old married and that’s the part I miss. Even if there are one or two other decent trade offs, it’s hard to completely let go of the desire for that first kiss giddiness.

  33. Kim
    Posted 02.16.07 | Permalink

    Blah, blah, blah.

    I reserve the right to be bitter.

  34. playfulinnc
    Posted 02.16.07 | Permalink

    I’m with Gwen…my kinda love has farts in it.

  35. k
    Posted 02.16.07 | Permalink

    oh hey, look at that! i’m late to the party. what a shocker.

    anyhoo, what an awesome post. really. i’m kind of tired of “love” being either something to begrudge (because you don’t have it) or something to lament (because you do except blah blah). love is really great, and so is that first kiss.

    hugs,
    k

    p.s. i see you Rudy and raise you one Dead Poets Society.

  36. Kelly
    Posted 02.16.07 | Permalink

    I love your attitude! Damn right that love is great when it is with the one person who completes you (cue Bruce Springsteen…Jerry McGuire). It is hard not to feel cynical when you are single…but I appreciate your cander and optimism. My husband is the coolest cat in town and I will never regret waiting 29 years for the love of my life.

  37. Gooseberried
    Posted 02.17.07 | Permalink

    Hey, thanks for commenting on my blog! This is my first time here. Love the layout and cute post too! ;)

  38. Tom
    Posted 02.17.07 | Permalink

    Hey Kris,
    Thanks for stopping by and for the comment/compliment. I think our site will get fleshed out a little more with each post, we’re looking forward to it!
    About the pizza stone idea… that might work, but I read that part and instantly thought about heatin’ up a pizza, THEN takin’ the stone outside and letting it melt some of the snow and ice. It’s just like using the defrost, but there’s pizza involved.
    In my book, that would be a win-win.
    I like the way your site is set up, btw.

  39. Tom
    Posted 02.17.07 | Permalink

    You have a grey cat and a calico? Uh, we have a grey cat and a torti… she looks like the cat here but with more “ewok” flavor.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Tortoiseshell-cat.jpg

    Most mornings we are serenaded sometime around 5, as well.

    awesome.

  40. yournamehere
    Posted 02.17.07 | Permalink

    On Valentine’s Day I ordered a heart-shaped pizza and ate it alone, while gently weeping and quietly cursing a god who would forsake me so.

    I wish I had read this before all that.

  41. Becca
    Posted 02.18.07 | Permalink

    Oh how glad I am to be referred to your blog. I posted a very rare woe-is-me-therapy-blog yesterday and you were recommended. Even though I get misty eyed just feeling the absence of a good, strong, nice smelling man next to me, I as well get excited to think of the will be’s in my future. Thank you for setting me straight and I look forward to obsessingly reading your other entries. We single gals need to stick together.

  42. Dave
    Posted 02.18.07 | Permalink

    Yeah, we’re gonna need to see a picture of that dude’s feet.

    Never mind–found it.

    P.S. If you ever google “nasty feet” without the content filter on, you’re gonna see a very different kind of nasty.

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