Under the weather this Christmas, Kris battled a cold,
So she watched TiVo’d House and 48 Hours of old.
Correspondent Ms. Maher tracked Jesus’ birth,
Her bad choice of fashion lent Miss Kris some mirth.
Now how does one choose what to don for the Savior?
Kris recreates our reporter’s buying behavior:
“Isn’t it exciting?!?” to her colleagues she said.
“I’m going to where He first lay his sweet head!”
Now to bigger things, “what in the world should I wear?”
To the big three-tiered mall Ms. Maher did tear.
There was Hecht’s and a Macy’s and clothes shops galore!
Where should she start? Who still made clothes of yore?
Nordstrom offered reserved linen pants with a top,
Victoria’s Secret and Bebe most certainly flopped.
In Wet Seal a crop Ms. Stefani would just adore!
But she did not want the Father to think her a whore.
To the third floor she made it! Ann Taylor might help?
At the bright pinks and purples she let out a yelp.
Onward to Abercrombie – her final great hope!
Those small sizes left her clutching the end of her rope.
Was there no place that made the right clothes for this meeting?
Through her velour jogging suit she could feel her heart beating.
Then she rounded the corner – it was Gap, what a goodie!
“Just perfect! KHAKIS AND AN OVERSIZED HOODIE!”
“This is wrong! It’s atrocious!” Kris screamed from her couch,
The birthplace of Jesus and she’s dressed like a slouch!
An outfit one might wear to a basketball game,
Was apparently good enough for our Lord just the same.
So note to self, dear readers, when visiting the manger
To simple good conduct do not be a stranger.
One hopes she might read this and feel some chagrin,
For those sans good taste there’s no room at the inn.
13 Comments
Oh Abercrombie,
how I love thee.
Kris, I never knew you were such a master of poetic prose!
Blasphemous! I totally agree.
Seriously, everyone needs to dress like a Shepherd.
It’s true!
:)
Plus, it depends if you’re visiting the Jesus where the Beckhams play the part of the foster parents of the Almighty.
THEN there is a lot more reason for flash and glitter.
Holy Christopher Marlowe!
Happy Holidays, Kris!
I love it! You are brilliant.
HAHA! There are no words…Hi-Larious, Kris! (and atrocious all at the same time)! Happy holidays!
This might just be the most hilarious post ever! Thanks for the smiles!
You poem is hilarious and just a bit wacky.
Appropriate for an outfit that sounds way too tacky. ;)
You are a gigantic talent. But please, no Abercrombie – not if you are over the age of 16. It’s too disheartening.
That’s hilarious! :)
It is the best work, which I ever ve seen Everything is so harmonious, that even such aggressive critic as I would not be desirable to change anything!
- mamalikey.blogspot.com a
spaghetti alla carbonara
I think this post will give “The Night Before Christmas” a run for the money as the new holiday classic for next year…! lol
Happy New Year’s, Kris–hope 2007 is filled with more laughter and contentment.
Happy, beautiful 2007, Kris ((((((((hugs)))))))))